Tork's blog

Holy Crap I'm Turning 30!

2012-03-07T21:32:00.000+10:30

Well... haven't I been a busy body!

I'm busy turning 30 years old!! It definitely is a freak out age. A time where you look back and look forward.

Have I wasted my life up until now? Will I waste it more later on?

Probably.. but I've had fun and hopefully will keep having fun!

I'm also working a lot, lot, lot more. Time is restricted greatly to feed the four of us. Me, Wife, Baby + Dog. Generally not in that order either.

But turning 30 is a good time to relax and reflect. Wonder when that mid life crisis thing is going to sneak up on me...

..again.

I'll be blogging more as soon as I can... Been motivated to write lots lately :-)

- tork

Bad Blogger Step 4: Life's Rambles

2012-02-24T20:39:00.000+10:30

Welcome to Step 4 in my I'm a Bad Blogger series. You can find my original bad blogger post here.

This one, I'm not sure how it's going to work out..

4. Use long paragraphs

My boy is growing up so fast. He stands now. Not so much by himself, he still needs something to hold onto, but he'll get himself onto two feet without a worry. Man he's growing fast. He'll be one year old soon. He's making me feel very old. I'll soon have a one year old son... Argh!! That is crazy. I remember a time long past when I was wondering if I'll ever even have a girlfriend, let alone a wife, a house, a kid. It seriously is amazing how fast time passes. You do look back on your life as it moves so fast. You look at days you wasted and wishing you could go back and waste them all again. And you remember friends you've had and lost, wondering what they've been up to without having to add them on Facebook. Hell, remember when there was no social media like Facebook? Remember when mobile phones didn't even exist? I remember telling mum "I'll be back by 5 o'clock. I'm just going down to school to shoot some hoops." If my son was ever to do that, I probably wouldn't let him go without his phone.

How the crap did we ever manage? How did our parents know where we are. These days I am sure kids are telling their parents that they are going to Place A, but going to Place B, knowing full well Mum and Dad won't show up without a phone call first. My Mum would randomly come to the Basketball courts to come get me, even shoot some baskets too. I also remember when I almost knocked myself out after setting up benches for dunking competitions. Now, schools are locked, parents are seconds away from communication with their kids, and I am weeks away from turning 30. Holy shit. Doesn't life just creep up on you super fast? I'm looking forward to my boy's first birthday, but I'm also looking forward to every single birthday after that. Someone tell him to stop growing so fast! Someone tell me to hit record on my Video Camera more often too! I keep forgetting, living more in the moment than recording the moment :-)

How do you recommended slowing life down? Perhaps taking a break and hitting the Enter key occasionally?

:-)

- tork

Congratulate me, I'm a new Mum!

2012-02-21T11:37:00.000+10:30

You'll have to congratulate me, I'm a new mum!

I'm the latest addition to the team at Kleenex Mums. You're looking at their first ever dad!

I talked recently about my blogging goal for 2012, on how I want to be a voice in the parenting blogging community as a father, with almost every parent blogger in Australia a mum. Where are there dads?

Well, we are out there! :-)

Hopefully I'll get to do more writing for more prominant sites, such as Kleenex Mums.

Remember, it takes two to tango, and normally two to parent. Dads have got stuff to say too!

..and you'll hear more out of this here weirdo :-)

- tork

Bad Blogger Step 3: I'm Blogging Drunk. Weeeoo!

2012-02-11T09:33:00.000+10:30

Welcome to Step 3 in my I'm a Bad Blogger series. You can find my original bad blogger post here.

This one, I'm not sure how it's going to work out..

Step 3. Write drunk

It's 7:26pm. I've had my first gulp of alcohol. Then my second. I've also only eaten a handful of Beef Ravioli that was leftover from the night previous. Methinks it shall not take long for my sentences to cease using words such as "night previous", "methinks" or "cease".

My drink of choice: Castaway Pear Cider. I bought a carton about a month ago and lost the mood for cider, so there's heaps left.

There's a bout a six pack left, so lets see how much damage I can put into it. I think it's time to sit back and watch a DVD I've borrowed from a friend..

Mmm Pear Cider. Must leave some for when it gets sunnier. 9:19pm.. into my DVD series of Game of Thrones I've borrowed from a friend. Very good and addictive and that.. Love the age and what life was like back then, living in castles, fighting for power and land. Ohh.. and all the rooting. high fives for all the rooting.

On another note, I've found leftover Gin in the cupboard. Pissed off there is only enough for one glass. Stupid alcoholism. Must learn how to make own alcohol like in M*A*S*H, but I fear killing myself making it!

9:34pm, rhymes with the girls in this show i'm watching.. Anyway, what is this blog of mine all about? Being a dad? Sure.. More so, life as a dad. I was going to write something else, but I forget what it was.

10:05pm I really could go for some chips right about now. Potato and onion chips. Man they are good. I've only got Migoreng noodles in the cupboard. Is that how you spell it? I dunno. I can never figure it out. Can't cook them cos it will wake up the boy.

My fingers are heavy.

10:22pm I love my readers, I really do. Even the ones that might anonymously contact me to tell me I suck. I love you guys. Sometimes I might check my stats and see it reach past a person point. A certain point, I mean. I love that! So thanks. My keyboard has lots of colours and it can change from blue to pink to red. I love my keyboard too.

10:54pm I think I might have to pay whomever says don't blog drunk because although it may be amusing to perhaps a few, it really hasn't been very interesting to me. The challenge of writing drunk and using my brain is a challenge. I'd rather not be drunk to write. bahh!! stupid logic.

11:07pm yep thats it. I think i've had enough of the brews. I really need to add more liquor to my cabinets. Too much cider is too sweet and I now have a Gin craving. But I was thinking. I think that the dragons myth exist because early man discovered dinasaur remains and said "dragon", and made up a bunch of stuff around that.

Yeah... Wish I could think up something so cool no one has thought about before!

God I'm sleepy.. I should sleep.

Fell asleep at my desk, dammint... Z zZZZz ZZzzzzzzZZzzZZZZzzzzzzzzzz

It's 9.17am the following morning. I think it is safe to say, do not blog drunk! I had trouble of thinking what to write. Looking back on it, it definitely isn't my best work, that's for sure. Certainly I did get a few chuckles out of it, but it's something I wouldn't consider or recommend to others to do.

Unless you think you could improve upon my babble! And how lame of me by the way to fall asleep at 11pm. Been working too hard!

So what do you think of my job blogging drunk? Did I get a chuckle out of you?

- tork

Bad Blogger Step 2: Here is a picture of my doodle on the table

2012-02-09T21:59:00.000+10:30

Welcome to Step 2 in my I'm a Bad Blogger series. You can find my original bad blogger post here.

I'm trying my best at doing all the steps it takes to be the worst blogger in the world, trying to prove it wrong that there are no rules in blogging. So here's the next one..

Step 2. Don’t spend more than 30 seconds working on your headline

It took me 10 seconds to write this post headline. I'm maybe a bit embarrassed because I really should have thought it through further.

I mean.. my doodle, on the table... for all the world to see. Why did I write that! Now I can't take it back!

Me showing you a picture of it is probably not the world's best idea. But, I don't want to mislead anyone that has clicked this post.

So, I guess I better, just...

You know.. post the picture I took of my doodle on the table.

I just hope you don't laugh too hard at my doodle. It's not a very big one...

Well, my doodle was a bit bigger than this, but I had just rubbed it off! :-)

Ok, enough of the doodle/penis jokes. Hahahaha.

If you don't know, it's just a quick sketch I did of an old game called Asteroids. Loved that game.

Why I Didn't Spend Time on my Headline and How You Can Too

Well, sometimes I might have a great idea for a post. I will just write the headline for it and work around that. Other times, I will just write something in that headline section and if I think I can write a good post around it, I will leave it and run with it.

It's sometimes a great source for inspiration. It doesn't always work, but it goes to show that it doesn't always need to be important. You can do it too! Just write down either something you'd think would be funny, something you might not usually write about, or whatever is the first thing to pop into your head!

I honestly took 10 seconds to write the headline. I happened to have a photo in my mobile phone of this picture I drew on my desk. The headline just sort of came to me because I remembered I had the photo.

But seriously, have fun for gods sake. Don't treat each post like it's going to be your latest masterpiece.

A photo of my actual wang.. now there's a masterpiece!

*sigh*

Before I get too carried away, what do you think? Did I do a good job with the headline? Do you spend long on your headline or do you just whip it out for the world to see?

Ok, that was my last double entendre, I swear.

Love to hear your thoughts!

- tork

Bad Blogger Step 1: Story about goats

2012-02-07T22:55:00.000+10:30

Welcome to Step 1 in my I'm a Bad Blogger series. You can find my original bad blogger post here.

This series will try to prove that there are no rules in blogging, that there isn't such a thing as a bad blogger. Let's see how we go with...

Step 1. Do no research whatsoever before writing a post

I'd like to tell you more about a fantastic creature call... the goat.

The goat is a magical feline that is a god in some countries. It is known to be awesome in several different ways.

A story goes that the Pygmy Goat of Great Britain saved a group of children from colliding with an oncoming school bus. Unbeknownst to the bus driver, a group of around 5 children were playing hopscotch in the street, a game that involves throwing rings around a peg from a distance, of which said pegs are alight with fire whilst dwarves dance around singing Beyonce's song "Single Ladies".

The Pygmy Goat noticed the children in peril and charged towards the children. Upon reaching the group, the goat stopped and growled, a defence mechanism used when in danger against its predators. Much like the eye's of Predator from the movie with the same name, the goat's eyes turned greenish-yellow, freaking the shit out of the kids and sending them running away. This running away sent the kids into safety with the bus driving beyond the children with no casualties. The goat was not heard of since, but a single photo was taken.

Goat in defence mode

A goat's knowledge of impending doom is well known. This sense of catastrophe has not gone unnoticed to the people of Botswana, who use the goat's milk as a substitute for bath water. In a land where water can be rare, goat's milk is a useful resource to clean, but it also provides to the bather an increased knowledge of their own bad luck. The only downfall is the number of goats required to fill a bath, which is somewhere between 5 and a shitload.

Mbomba Jabar is a shining example of a goat's milk bath. He was lucky enough to dodge a falling glass coke bottle from the sky after bathing in the goat's milk. He knew it was coming! The hit would have surely knocked him to the ground.

A movie was actually made about his fortune, but re-written to have him be hit fair and square in the head with the bottle in "The Gods Must Be Crazy" because it was much funnier.

The Gods Must Be Crazy

Not only do goats sense danger, they also are excellent smellers. In Alaska, they are often substituted for sniffer dogs in Airports and at Border Security. Due to all the Huskies pulling sleds and St Bernards getting skiers drunk, the need for sniffer dogs are filled by Mountain goats.

The Mountain goat is a fantastic hurdler of suitcases amongst the moving suitcase line. Hopping upon one bag to another, the goat will source anything from drugs to undeclared foods. The odd delicious granny panties get eaten however, which is an unfortunate downfall in this gap in this sniffer animal field.

But if you think that you are at a Border Security that you know has no sniffer dogs.. beware! A goat may just be lurking around the corner.

Goats will sniff your shit

These are just three example of the magical feline the goat. When next at your petting zoo with the kids, introduce them to these wonderful creatures. They'll be amazed for hours.

- tork

Time to put my blogging to the test

2012-02-02T21:34:00.005+10:30

I'm a big fan of Problogger.

*waves*

This guy is a leader in the blogging community. He knows his stuff.

He has loads of folks begging to guest post at his site. So many that he actually charges people to guest post. Smart.

Fyi, I don't charge for guest posting here and I'd love for you to guest post on my dad blog!

Anyway, I recently read 13 Steps to Being the Worst Blogger on the Planet.

I thought, Karol from ThemeFuse, I see what you're doing there, but that's not exactly right.

There are no rules in blogging.

And because recently I've been told I am a terrible blogger (sob, you hurt my feelings anonymous person you, sob), I plan on showing how good that being bad can be.

I'm calling it the I'm a Bad Blogger series.

Stay tuned..

- tork

*UPDATE*

Here's the series:
Bad Blogger Step 1: Story About Goats
Bad Blogger Step 2: Here is a picture of my doodle on the table
Bad Blogger Step 3: I'm Blogging Drunk
Bad Blogger Step 4: Life's Rambles

A Blog Goal for 2012

2012-02-01T21:30:00.001+10:30

Ahh the parenting bloggy community.

Here's something important I wanted to post about it. Might've said it before, but here it is again

:-)

I think we are overdue for a revamp in the blogging scene in Australia and overseas, where mum blogs dominate conferences and online bloggy communities are built for women.

There is a reason though. There are hardly any Dads online blogging in Australia. Is it because it's too wussy? Or is the blogging community geared towards mums?

So this is my main goal for 2012. To break the mould of parenting bloggers, that dads have a story too.

I want more dads blogging, especially in Australia. It's a great way to keep memories, share stories and hear parenting things from the other side of the fence. From the dads.

Over the year, I'll be pointing my fingers towards some cool dad's out there, as well as great mums as well. I might even be re-igniting the coveted Torkona Award for 2012.

Hopefully, as a Dad, I will be an important voice in various places around the online community, doing more freelance writing work. I hope I'll be a great source for parenting stories, trials and joy, as well as sharing my life as a dad and as me. Hopefully it will help break the mould and encourage more dads to blog.

So..

Please share my goal with other bloggers via your own blog, Facebook or Twitter. That would be rad ;-)

And..

If you are a blogger that is willing to let me break the mould and guest post on your site on anything about being a dad, please get in touch.

Yippee! What fun I'm going to have :-)

- tork

Celebrity Beard Stubble

2012-01-28T22:28:00.000+10:30

Lazy? That's me. That's why I sport beard stubble.

That's right, beard stubble. Because, apparently, laziness is attractive to women.

I'm here to prove it wrong to stop the attention I get in the street. Damn crazy girls, I'm a married man for god's sake! :-)

So here is my homage to beard stubble with...

Famous Celebrity People Beard Stubble

Actor Beards

Ohhh look at me. I'm Brad Pitt, apparently the most desirable hand bag on the face of this planet. I've got beard stubble and don't you know it!

Check me out, I'm George Clooney, I've got grey bits in my beardy stubble that makes all gals of all ages smile. Aren't I devilishly debonair and fancy.

I cut my own hair, don't shave every day of the week and talk in a silly accent. I'm Gerard Butler! Ain't I a peach?

Look at me, I like to call myself Hugh Laurie and be really funny in shows like Blackadder. Sometimes I speak in an English accent, other times in American. It confuses me, so I use my stubbly beard to scratch and ponder which voice I'll use today.

I'm the other Hugh that can dance and sing and slice your guts open with my awesome bones of steel. But please don't call me Wolverine. I'm Hugh Jackman and aren't I lovely?

Am I making you girls not like man beard stubble yet?

No? Hmmm.. maybe I need to take it to the next level

Musician Beards

They call me Keith Urban. My famous man beard stubble helped me land Nicole Kidman, otherwise she might have confused me for a girl, what with my long flowing lady locks.

I'm an awesome singer (really, I am), but sometimes I forget whether my name is Prince or if I am that weird symbol thing. Just to make sure though, I draw teeny little dots on my upper lip to notify the hot chicky babes that I am masculine and ready for special cuddles.

Still not convincing enough to stop fondling my face forest?

Here's the big one then..

Scientology Beards

My work here is done.

- tork

Happy Australia Day 2012!

2012-01-25T21:51:00.000+10:30

Happy Australia Day everyone!

Today it's just a simple post, a couple of lines wishing all Aussies a great day off work!! Yeeha!

I hope the barbie's light well and your glass never empties. Cheers!

Here's my Australia Day poem shown last year to celebrate the occasion. Love it.

- tork

Did you win the STIHL Giveaway?

2012-01-22T20:23:00.000+10:30

The STIHL Dream Aussie Backyard Giveaway has ended. The winners have been selected.

Winners are grinners! And they'll soon have a really cumfy STIHL hat to wear. Mine is quite comfortable :-)

Here are the winners (randomly drawn via random.org):

Pam Talaue
Lisa Wood
Matthew Costa

Congratulations winners! You will be contacted shortly.

Didn't win this time? Subscribe by any (or all) of these links below so you can try again for the next one!

Thanks so much to STIHL for the giveaway.

- tork

Did you win the Viva TV and Computer Screen Wipes Giveaway?

2012-01-21T20:00:00.002+10:30

The Viva TV and Computer Screen Wipes giveaway has ended. The winners have been selected.

Winners are grinners! And they'll soon have every TV and Computer screen clean in the house. Ooh, don't forget your iPads and Mobile Phones!

Here are the winners (randomly drawn via random.org):

Melissa Kagie
Toni Hill
mzmumma81
Marita Stuffwiththing
Thanh Luu
Jasmine Chow
Melissa4444
Narelle Rock
Sara TisTheLife
Michelle Vamvas

Congratulations winners! You will be contacted shortly.

Didn't win this time? Subscribe by any (or all) of these links below so you can try again for the next one!

Thanks so much to Viva Clever Cleaning and Kleenex Mums for the giveaway.

- tork

STIHL Giveaway - My Dream Aussie Backyard when Growing Up GIVEAWAY ENDED

2012-01-15T06:41:00.003+10:30

As a little fella, I grew up basically in my backyard. It was massive.

Today, my backyard is the size of a dwarf's bed, where swinging a cat would definitely not get you anywhere.

It's something I definitely want to change one day and I have been thinking about it a lot.

It's funny, because STIHL recently got in touch with me about backyards. They want me to write about my backyard growing up and what makes it Australian. What made it mine. It really was such a coincidence that they contacted me when it has been playing on my mind.

I want my boy to have a backyard like I did, where he can tear it up like a Tazzie devil.

So, thank's to STIHL for giving me a great idea for a post! I'll be talking about their latest competition to WIN an Australian Day party in your backyard with 20 friends, a STIHL Backyard Hero and a STIHL prize package valued at over $2,200 in a minute, plus a STIHL giveaway!

First, let me tell you about my backyard.

This Was My Backyard Life

*sigh*

I sure do miss being a kid with the backyard we had. It was massive, but living out in the sticks would mean you have a massive backyard.

There were sheds to play in, tanks to climb, a hills hoist to swing on, and ample room to smash a cricket ball around in.

The rainwater tanks were a pillar of the backyard. One especially, old and disused, was covered in ivy. We climbed the crap out of that bugger. Thinking back, nobody would have known if we'd fallen through the top of it. It was old and rusty and who knows when it was going to cave in.

When I say we, I mean me and my brother. A backyard isn't a backyard unless you have a sibling to kick their arse in.

Backyard cricket every summer. My old man would sometimes stop working for a bit to have a bowl. My grandpa would always be the wicket keeper. Mum would be the crap umpire :-)

Remembering my Poppy playing with us wells me up...

Yep, I'm losing it....

So, umm, yeah.. I definitely loved my backyard. No matter what weather, we always found a way to entertain ourselves.

Every House Needs a Backyard if there are Kids

I know it might be hard having a large backyard, with prices of those kind of houses. But, you just have to do it. Taking kids out to a park nearby is a good substitute, but after the amount of life I lived in my backyard, I am doing everything I can to get us a good sized piece of yard for my boy to play in.

Others may not tend to agree. That's fine.

But there is nothing more fun and Aussie than the kids going nuts on their bikes around the yard or kicking a footy over the neighbours fence. And yes, dare I say it, they have to be able to count on at least two hands the number of times a cricket ball goes through a window. You bet your thing you are sitting on though that if my boy does that, there will be loads of chores :-)

I miss a big backyard.. Here's hoping I one day get one.

Now, onto what STIHL is offering!

This is My Backyard Competition and Giveaway

STIHL are chucking a pretty cool competition. They are offering you the chance to WIN an Australian Day party in your backyard with 20 friends, a STIHL Backyard Hero (Dermott Brereton, Matthew Hayden, Andrew McLeod, Matthew Pavlich or Brad Fittler) and a STIHL prize package valued at over $2,200.

This is for any sized backyard! From tiny courtyard or balcony, to 100 hectare property.

There is still time to enter, so get cracking so you can have an Australia Day BBQ that you wont ever forget!

Check out their Facebook page to enter the competition.

Ooh, and thanks STIHL. They've got me ready for Australia day. Have a Captain Cook at what the nice folks sent me.

Oh, hey! Did someone say giveaway? STIHL are offering 3 STIHL hats to giveaway to 3 lucky people. You can see the hat in the picture above.

To enter, you must be an Australian resident.

Simply leave a comment on this post saying "enter me!" to give yourself a chance at winning. Get an extra entry for tweeting this blog link by clicking here, and clicking "share" on the link in Facebook (via Tork's Blog fanpage).

Winners will be drawn via random.org. Competition ends midnight January 21st AEST.

Don't forget, you must be willing to provide address and contact details to receive the goods if you win!

Good luck!

- tork

Viva TV and Computer Screen Wipes Review GIVEAWAY ENDED

2012-01-13T07:43:00.003+10:30

Aren't I the popular one. Ever since talking about Mum blogs being more popular than dad blogs, I've become quite busy in the past couple of days.

Look who's come knocking at my door.. Viva Clever Cleaning! All thanks to KleenexMums.com.au.

I must be giving the appearance I am a nerd that sits in front of the telly and computer all day, that makes a mess of things. Hmm.. Has someone been talking to my wife? :-)

So, here we go. I've been given the honour to be the first person in the world to review and giveaway..

Viva TV and Computer Screen Wipes

I've never been the first at anything in the world. I only just missed out on inventing the internet (couldn't get a string long enough between two cups). So this is pretty cool.

The DVD-like box that Viva TV and Computer Wipes come in is very clever. Really appeals to the nerd in me. It's a bit thicker than a DVD case, but it's otherwise the same size. See it next to one of my fave DVDs? (great movie, fyi).

The wipes come with a soft fibre cloth. I decide to wipe the TV first because it is dusty as. I have a massive one *insert giggles here* hehehee. TV that is.

It gets dusty easily. The reusable microfibre cloth worked a treat on it

My computer screen doesn't really get dirty though. I tend to avoid touching it too much. So, I decided that I needed to cover it with fingerprints. Got to test out the product to give it a serious review, don't I?

--------------------------------

Here is my LCD monitor covered in fingerprints

Seriously, covered in fingerprints

All I do next is pull out one of the wet wipes to remove the prints, dust and marks..

Hey presto!

Aren't I hilarious...

But seriously for a moment. I pulled my mobile phone out of my pocket. It's a HTC Android and the touch screen is constantly being covered in finger prints, making it sometimes difficult to use.

A quick once over with the wet wipe and it amazes me. Very cool.

It feels like a different phone! It's so much smoother. I can imagine how awesome it would be with an iPad or other tablets.

Viva Screen Wipes Review Verdict & Giveaway

They are simple, cool, nifty and they work. They don't have an overpowering smell either, which is a winner as well.

They will be available in supermarkets by the end of January 2012 for $9.99.

But why wait until then? Viva are offering 10 packs to giveaway to 10 lucky people!! To enter, you must be an Australian resident.

Simply leave a comment on this post saying "enter me!" to give yourself a chance at winning. Get an extra entry for tweeting this blog link by clicking here, and clicking "share" on the link in Facebook (via Tork's Blog fanpage).

Winners will be drawn via random.org. Competition ends midnight January 19th AEST.

Don't forget, you must be willing to provide address and contact details to receive the goods if you win!

Good luck! Thanks to KleenexMums.com.au for giving me the opportunity to give something back to my readers.

- tork

SnoozeShade Review for Infant Car Seats

2012-01-12T12:09:00.000+10:30

I've got something wicked to tell you.

I GOT FREE STUFF IN THE MAIL!! Ohh yeah! Suffer in your jocks!

*ahem*

Yeah, sorry about that. Just a wee bit excited :-)

Thanks SnoozeShade.com.au for allowing me to have a play with one of your products...

The SnoozeShade for Infant Car Seats

What do you do when the sun gets in your child's eyes when you're driving or transferring them between car and house?

Well, the wife and I have had that trouble with our little boy whenever the sun gets in his eyes (as you can imagine), mainly when we are driving about the place. We've used those sun blocks you get in freebie promotional bags from expos, as well as purchasing a large sun block blind for the rear window.

You reckon any of them work? Only a little bit.

It doesn't completely block out the sun. Little bits keep peeping its way through, causing our boy not so much to cry, but get really pissed off.

Nothing we have found really does the job properly. This SnoozeShade though is a real sun blocker.

The Blackout Blind

When they call it a blackout blind, they mean it. This thing is so dense just looking at it. The mesh is darker than my little boy's mood when his bottle is late!

I guess I could show you a video of how you use it (see below).

Clever hey? The Australian version has a latte trim to it though. Here's a few pictures of the one I received.

The Packaging

The bag it comes with

On my car seat

This would be great if we had a detachable car seat, where carrying a sleeping baby from the car to the house in sunlight wouldn't wake him. Our car seat isn't for carrying, but our boy rarely gets woken by the sun anyway. It just annoys him when he's awake (he's a strange one I tell you). It's also the sunburn we worry about.

The only concerns I had is that the trim had already started to come away a little (just a little). Saying that, it would still last well beyond the age where a baby would outgrow it.

Also, I was concerned if the baby actually could breathe through it. It is mesh material, but I did the best thing I could think of.

I put it on my head...

So long as it didn't cover my mouth, all good :-)

SnoozeShade Review Verdict

Overall, this SnoozeShade is a great idea whilst mum or dad is carrying baby out of the car or pushing the stroller down the street. I stared in the sun whilst having it on my head and it worked better than my sunglasses. It works.

Attaching it to the car seat though whilst driving. I would only use it whilst someone else is sitting next to the baby, just to make sure the tot doesn't pull things about the place. Always good to be 100% sure with these little tackers.

I wouldn't advise using it when you haven't got eyes on your child or unable to stop what you are doing to attend to them. I don't care what product you are using, no matter how safe they are. If you're putting something above their head, you make sure you are about the place!

So.. SnoozeShade.com.au have kindly offered my readers (that's you, fyi) a 20% discount if you order from their website or via TheProductStore.com.au (discount code TORKONA2012). The site already includes free shipping too!

Overseas and feel left out? Check out SnoozeShade.com. Mention me and see if you can haggle yourself a discount there too ;-)

Thanks so much for SnoozeShade for popping my review cherry.

Psst.. be on the look out for more in the coming weeks, and don't be surprised if I have a few giveaways!!

- tork

Overhead the Cot of a Son

2012-01-09T21:25:00.000+10:30

The Happy Mum at Home reminded me tonight about inspiration.

I've said it once and I'll say it again.. Inspiration comes from within. You just sometimes need to be reminded.

Here goes..

As I stood with elbows against wood, a cot made of tree. I look downwards at a son, asleep.
The eyes are a-flitter, fighting sleep and grasping at play.
A boy, whom I've always wanted. To teach that life is awesome, no matter what day.
To teach things of amazement. To show fun in doing so.
As I stood overhead, gently telling him goodnight, I wonder how lucky we are.
How lucky. My wife and I.
A son was born to us, as awesome as can be. May he grow to be all that he wants to be.

- tork

Stopping to Say Thanks

2012-01-08T20:29:00.000+10:30

Just wanted to take a breath/break from posting (even though I'm technically still doing it) and thank a few people.

Mary. My yankee doodle pal that recently bestowed me with an award. Although I am wussing out and not continuing the award requirements, I still wanna say CHEERS and tell you all to visit her blog. So if it's food recipes you're after, she's your gal to show you! I'm hanging for her sausage balls recipe. Can't wait 'til I get to try her balls (hmmm that doesn't sound right hehehee). Thanks Mary!

Kate. She says stuff. Today, she said to all her followers to come visit me. Well, aren't HER readers lucky to find a swell dude like myself! And aren't I lucky to get a great wrap.. Check Kate out today at her blog. She's a sweetheart.

I also wanted to thank everyone who's commented and tweeted since my post Why Don't You Like Dad Blogs but love Mum Blogs. I feel there's life back into these old blog bones. I am also glad I didn't push publish on a post I wrote entitled "I Quit". Yeah.. I know. But this new Tork loves a challenge.

So, thanks everyone!

- tork

Update on My Boy's Health

2012-01-06T20:29:00.000+10:30

You probably know by now, my boy has been quote "crook" unquote. You can read about our baby's health and the boy's birth story if you want an update.

Lots of people have been asking how he is. When I say "He's great! Still on the oxygen at night though" they look at me in shock!

"But he looks great!"

"But he's always so happy!"

"I thought he was off it!?"

These are the common responses for the young chap.

First off, he always looks great. He's my boy, of course he looks adorable and fantastic all the time.

*insert Tork catalogue pose here*

And even with oxygen attached to his face 24 hours a day, he's always smiled. Always been the one to laugh.

But he has been off it, it just never has come off it at night.

It's such a chore now too. With his crawling all over the place, it's difficult to keep him still to attach it. He loves playing with it though. Loves it like crazy hehehehe.

But, it's such a terrible chore for us. Look at this..

See the white tape? That's what goes against his face every night to hold the oxygen tubing in place. They are the size of two thumbnails and are sticky as masking tape.

Every morning we heartbreakingly tear them off his face ready for the day.

He laughs at it..

Such a strong boy. He's so used to it though.

So I've been compiling over the last month this lot, stuck against his oxygen tank, just to show he's still on oxygen and what we hopefully will stop doing very soon.

See that sort of silver knob? It is turned to the lowest possible level of O2 release. A level many doctors have said is now useless, but our main doctor refuses to budge from removing all together.

I am going to take it off no matter that the docs say. Fighting tooth and nail (and cheek skin) for my boy to stop going through it every night/morning. He pulls it off his face during the night anyway!

Well, no more ranting. Wanted to update you all.

Not so much a sob story on our part. More of an understanding of what we do each night when a kid has Tracheomalacia. Also, an understanding of how lucky you can be to have a healthy kid, and how much unluckier we could have actually been with him.

- tork

So, Sleepless in Seattle is on tonight..

2012-01-05T21:13:00.001+10:30

So, Sleepless in Seattle is on tonight.. I am watching it. (at least, it was at the time I was writing this).

I think I've watched it maybe, hmmm, five times?

Why am I asking you for? hehehe

*ahem*

Anyway, what a great movie. Yes, I have the courage to tell you that I love this movie. Why? It is beautifully written. It all flows amazingly together, with gentle surprises added into the mix.

Is it weird for me to like the odd romance movie? Yes.. sometimes.

I bet you didn't know that my favourite movie of all time is 'La Vita e Bella', otherwise known as 'Life Is Beautiful'. I'm sure I spelt that wrong. But, that movie has a mix of everything. Laughter, love, surprises, sadness. Watch it. I mean it!

Anyway, just thought I'd mention it.

Fyi, if you're concerned I'm some wussy, soppy, lovy dovey dude that loves rom-coms, you'd be happy no know that my second favourite movie of all time is 'Billy Madison'. I shit you not. I know that movie back to front.

I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR SNACK PACK!

....

Don't judge me.

:-)

- tork

The Kardashian's Visit Me Daily

2012-01-04T20:20:00.000+10:30

Help!

The Kardashians are in my house on a daily basis!

There's Kim, Khloe, Kourtney... Rob. Bruce Jenner and his lady friend Kris.

They drive me CraZy!!

Everyday it's a new drama. Something stupid like a wedding or divorce. Blah blah blah.

I really should not have got that extra foxtel package for my wife as a Xmas present. We can't afford it, but I want her happy. Too bad all she watches is the Kardashians!

At least there is the Comedy Channel for me :-)

So tell me, why do you chicks love the Kardashians so much? Why not evolve your brain and watch a doco on Discovery instead?

- tork

Everyday He's Shuffling! The Boy Crawls..

2012-01-03T21:08:00.000+10:30

Yep. My little boy has been rolling for a long while now. He's sort of only ever crawled forward on beds/mattresses, found it more easier.

He then worked his way up to going forwards on his back and backwards on his front. Ooch, that confused me..

Now he really has his shit sorted out. He does the army man crawl, where he's a soldier that has his legs blown off and has to crawl with his arms. Terrible description, but that's exactly how he does it.

It's been about a week of crawling. It was cute the first few days, but now we're already over it!

:-)

Hehehehe!

Here's a wee little sketch I drew to signify the moment.

Got any tips or advice to help us to stop going crazy during this *ahem* FUN new skill this little tacker has learnt?

Love to hear from you!

- tork

An Australian Dad Blog - My Latest Video

2012-01-02T11:34:00.001+10:30

Want to know what Torkona (aka Tork's Blog.. aka ME) is all about?

Here's a quick 30 sec video to tell you more about this Aussie Dad Blogger.

Christmas is over..

2011-12-25T21:16:00.000+10:30

Another Christmas has come and gone. Another month of Christmas stuff that all people go through.

Drives you crazy sometimes, but when it comes down to it, spending time with family folks is a great thing. Especially when you have a new baby that everyone wants to see.

My 15 Gift Ideas for Dad this Xmas has been great use to a lot of people. Too bad a lot of things I didn't get to cross off my wish list.

I got the Hardware Store vouchers, which is awesome. I also got the novelty t-shirts. But that was it :-(

So, coming from a recent post of mine about Why Don't You Like Dad Blogs But Love Mum Blogs, I'm going to try and set some things straight about my list and dad blogs.

I'm going to try and gain these products via being a promoting arse monkey (nicest way I could put it) via this blog over the next year. How am I going to do that?

Hmmm.. that's a bloody good question.

You're help would be greatly appreciated in flogging how great a blogger I am (wink wink, nudge nudge) hehehe.. but I will be searching around for some contacts perhaps over the next few months.

Lets see how I go. Any help you might care to share on how I could go about these would be great.

- tork

Guest Post from Santa Claus

2011-12-24T20:53:00.000+10:30

Ho Ho Ho... Merry Christmas everyone!

Every christmas is a magical night for me. I love bringing joy to children of all ages all around the world.

I've been checking my list twice to see who's been naughty or nice. And that's why I am guest posting at Tork's blog.

I see a new addition to my list. Looks like Tork has had a baby boy and it's going to be his first Christmas!

Ooh.. how exciting! He's on the nice list, such a good boy.

Tork on the other hand, he's on the naughty list...

Tsk tsk tsk, such a naughty young man.

You can't fool Santa you know Tork! I've seen all the tricks over the years.

Just because you're a big boy now and you're allowed to stay up all night, doesn't mean you can do it tonight to try and spot me!

Ho Ho! You're not naughty Tork, just a cheeky boy in grown-up's clothes. Go to sleep early tonight and wake up to your son's first Christmas. That's the best present that Santa can give you.

I'm must be away now, for I have lots of work to do. So, merry Christmas to all!

And have a good nights sleep Tork!

- Santa

Merry Xmas - I Love Your Guts - Happy Holidays!

2011-12-23T22:18:00.000+10:30

As the title says!

To all my followers/readers, a safe and merry christmas!

I love your guts!!!!!!

- tork

All I Want For Christmas Is Sleep

2011-12-22T21:06:00.000+10:30

I know just the present I want for Xmas..

Sleep!

Who's with me?

- tork

ps. like my sketch?

How Do Parents Celebrate New Years?

2011-12-21T07:00:00.002+10:30

How do parents with one or more kids celebrate the new years?

Do they not go out at all?

Do they try organising parties at home?

Do they just find a baby sitter?

Does one go out and get party-faced whilst the other leaves early to take the kids home?

As my wife and I are having our first new years as parents, we'd love to know how everyone handles it...

Would love some ideas!!!

Plants vs Zombies - Last Minute Gift Idea for Dad or Kids

2011-12-18T20:08:00.001+10:30

Struggling to find that last minute gift idea for Christmas (or for birthdays) for dad or the kids? Well, I've got a fantastic game that they'll fricken love.

Plants Vs Zombies

This game is the bees nees. Fun for the whole family, from the occasional game player to the elite gamer (that's l33t for those playing at home).

It is a tower defence game and it's addictive like no other. I've actually started playing it again after finishing it.

Its game play is smooth and also hilarious. It is fantastic for all ages, as opposed to the bang-bang shoot-em ups.

When the second one comes out, it may well break the top purchased games of the year. This is how highly regarded this game is amongst gamers.

Haven't heard of it? Want to give it a shot? You can grab it on many consoles. The PC, your mobile phone or iPad. I even think there are Xbox versions.

Or, try an online trial version and play for free! You can purchase the game from this site if you like it, or you can also grab it via Steam, the iTunes store and Android Market as well.

Here's a video of it:

Now, if you purchase this game, no kick backs come to me.. This is not a paid ad or an affiliate link. This is just one of the all time best games I've ever played. I love it so much I want you to love it too, hehehe!

And if you grab it for the kids or hubby (or even yourself), trust me, they'll love you for it!

Tell us what you think about it if you give it a test run :-)

- tork

Dear SAHMs, send picture messages to dads!

2011-12-17T20:07:00.000+10:30

As a father who goes to work everyday, it sucks being away from my boy. I'd rather be a stay at home mum, looking after kid and making millions of dollars from home.

But, alas, it's not to be. It's not like I've got a terrible job. It's a good job, I enjoy it. I'm just like every other person though who'd love to LIVE THE DREAM! It's just... missing the little things, like a giggle from my little one or a cuddle when his teeth hurt. That's what I miss and I am sure other dads with babies miss it too as they go to work.

So how do I get by?

Having photos on my desk is great. Thanks go to the wife when she gets that done for me. I've currently got a wee photo of my boy sitting on Santa's knee (who he absolutely loved by the way). But sometimes it's good to go that extra mile than the photo on the desk.

Everyone has got camera phones. My wife and I sure as hell do! They're the latest and greatest. We are set up to send and recieve pictures via MMS, and pretty much every day I will get a photo of what my little one is doing.

A snapshot playing on the ground with a massive grin gives me the same grin. Being away earning the dollars makes it a little bit easier.

So if you're a stay at home mum or dad, do the same for your husband or wife. If it doesn't put a dent in your monthly phone bill, I highly recommend it. It helps makes the day faster!!

Have you got any other tips for those away from their kids daily or for longer time periods?

- tork

What Dads Don't Want To Hear

2011-12-14T21:06:00.000+10:30

Let's see how much shit this is going to get me in with the wife/mums, but here are a few things Dads or Husbands or Partners (whatever you want to call us) hate to hear from their other half...

My husband has got Man Flu

Every time I get sick, it's always the man flu. Apparently all us dads over-react when we are sick and that women never whinge when they are sick.

Pfft.. balls to that! Gals say the same thing as guys when sick. It's just not noticed as much cos fella's aren't as often crook.

Don't get me wrong, I always lend a hand when the wife is sick, I just don't like that saying wives have!

So, to the guys. I say, if women are always going to use the phrase "It's just man flu", then men are allowed to say "It's just her period"...

..and there go all my women followers.

Going a bit grey there honey

Grey hairs? Nope.. We're holding on to our wasted youth and pretending we didn't hear that. The grey hair is probably just caused by the bright light in the room, causing a reflection and catching dust particles that are there-in causing the hair to appear a grey colour. If the wife says I've got a grey hair and we're in a dark room, I still hold onto my youth and respond with:

"Nahh it's not mine. Must've got stuck there whilst I was snogging your granny"

Makes her stop pointing out the greys quick smart!

Omigod, I can't believe you just did that in front of me

Whether it is breaking wind or dropping trousers for laughs, it's my house too, and it's happening.

This should be taken as a massive show of love towards our partner, that we are that comfortable with them, that there are no barriers. Nope. Apparently it's disgusting.

Around a group of guys, the love is there. A fart is greeted with "Someone farted in here! You got me man! It went into my mouth.." And a moon or a fruit basket is pointed and laughed at for at least the duration of three seconds.

Don't make us hold our farts in wives. Love us! Like we love you!

:-)

What is your most favourite/annoying wife quote?

- tork

Why Don't You Like Dad Blogs But Love Mum Blogs?

2011-12-12T22:15:00.000+10:30

*sob*

A Daddy blogger is a much unloved creature.

Recent twitter-twatter on Twitter brought up some interesting points thanks to Resevoir Dad's latest Great Aussie Dad Blogs, of which I am lucky enough to be listed as one (thanks dude!).

Here's a couple of points that dad bloggers would love to know the answer to...

1. Dad blogs don't get approached for product reviews.

For this dad blog of mine, I've never been asked to talk about any cool products, Australian or overseas.

Nothing. Not one product that would interest kids, mums or dads.

Why?

Is it because no one wants to be told about what a man thinks about products for kids and families? In Australia at least, the overloaded majority of bloggers are mums. You'd think the dad bloggers would stick out? You'd think a guy's perspective, something different, would be of value..

Perhaps I am doing something wrong.

Well, The Reservoir Dad tends to agree with me. Now, here's an aussie dad blogger agreeing that us Dads don't get the opportunity to review products. This guy has appeared on Australia's The Today Show, The Circle and numerous other formats of media to do with his website.

That's just crazy. Sure he's had some pretty rad sponsors, but still..

2. Dad blogs don't get anywhere near as many comments as a mum blog.

Let's do a blog hop to a few fave mum bloggers of mine.

Veronica at Some Day We Will Sleep. She's great. Writes from the heart. Puts herself out there daily. Heaps of comments.

Kirri at Happy Mums At Home. A top gal. She came to me for help with Twitter and we've been bloggy buds ever since. Crap loads of comments!

Mrs M at Mums Word and Donna at Nappy Daze. Always visiting me, and love I it. They've got comments on every single post.

So why don't I get loads of comments? Am I not putting myself out there enough?

Maybe not. You won't see a photo of me or my family on this blog, but you'll read everything that's on my mind (so far, just like this post!).

A recent post of mine, Celebrating My First Year of Blogging got me three comments from my regulars, of whom I love as much as a dog loves licking himself. This post is a celebration! I offer to help others with blogging in it! I add an article which never got accepted on another site, of which I spent hours/days/week putting a lot of time into. I guess though, sometimes you put so much work into things, that doesn't always mean they are going to be read.

Anyway, Colin of SuperParents and Associate Woman has noticed the same thing too. As a Perth dad blogger, I had difficulty locating comments at least on his last few posts (sorry dude, i'm the same hehehehe).

But with Colin putting himself out there and having great connections with loads of parents/mummy bloggers via blogging conferences, he still isn't being rewarded with the same that mum blogs get.

3. Dad blogs will never be as popular as mum blogs.

Search Aussie Dad blog on Google.com. (not .com.au) There is my blog at the very top of the list. Not once have I ever got a hit with that search term.

Now, search for Aussie Mum blog.

You'll find sites dedicated to aussie mums, as well as an award for the Aussie Mummy Bloggers with the X-Factor. Who, by the way was another of my faves, Glowless, who won an Apple iPad 2. (fyi, grats!) :-)

Ooh.. An interesting point is that another daddy blogger said to me on Twitter that he was talking with staff from Nuffnang, a popular advertising tool for Aussie bloggers. He was being ignored by the person, who was eyeing off the Mum bloggers.

This tweet was then followed up by one of my cool mum blog tweeters saying "she has never made any noises about being approached for product reviews, but is being approached often anyway".

Man...

Why am I whinging like a baby?

Well, hopefully I'm not having too much of a whine. Hopefully I'm just talking about something that is wrong in the Aussie Blogging World!

So, don't forget us guys out there. Whether we're talking about our nasty wives (hehehehehe), our kids getting sick, our terrible Dad Jokes, add us to your blogroll and keep in touch with the dads! We want that same level of support that mums have between other mums.

We also want to make extra money for our growing families via blogging. Any extra support for my family that I can get like the mums would be fricken great.

Well, that's about all I have to say about that now. So what do you think about all that I've said so far? Why do you think there aren't many Aussie Dad bloggers?

Looking forward to seeing what you think.

I'll leave you with this...

Love your local dad blog!

Get your husband blogging!

Get your own dad blogging!

Visit Reservoir Dad's site and check out a few dads if you are in search for some!

;-)

- tork

My Greatest Post, In My First Year of Blogging

2011-12-08T23:33:00.000+10:30

Well, it's officially one year ago that I started this blogging caper.

Sure, I sucked hard for a good number of months. I am still learning the tricks of the trade whilst being shy as hell and fighting for a voice as a dad blog amongst a sea of mums. It's terribly tricky!!

I've totalled up a measly $103 dollars in a year thanks to blogging. Working so hard really gets you down for such a low amount. An amount I was hoping to feed my family with. Failing is a pain in the arse. I hope I don't give up.

But, I've produced greatness, at least, what I think is great. Hopefully it will serve as a memory some stage down the track for me.

My favourite post. My greatest one yet. Finally, I am a Dad. I hope you enjoy it if you haven't yet read it.

In the mean time, I'm trying my hardest on reviving old bloggy projects. Finding the time is an S.O.B. though :-)

- tork

Celebrating the Songs of my First Year

2011-12-04T11:00:00.002+10:30

Music is a love of mine, as every other person on the face of this planet.

It soothes you.

It moves you.

It inspires you.

I was running a songs to inspire series that only a handful of people got into on my blog. So I stopped and took it onto twitter (under #SongsToInspire).

In celebrating my first year of blogging, here are some of my faves that I've done over the year.

Top 5 Sax Solos in Songs

Songs To Inspire - Song 1

Songs to Inspire - Song 5

Best of Eurovision 2011 Germany

Enjoy!

- tork

My First Ever Blog Post

2011-12-03T11:00:00.001+10:30

Celebrating my one year blogging, here is the very first post I ever made.

Awe-inspiring!

Hello from me

- tork

Celebrating My First Year of Blogging

2011-12-02T20:42:00.000+10:30

It was December last year that I started blogging. This means my blog is ONE YEAR OLD.

Happy first birthday Tork's blog!! Oh, what an interesting time it's been.

To celebrate my first year, I want to give back to you guys, my readers. The only thing I can give you is the stuff in my brain. My blogging knowledge.

I've been reading and learning loads about blogging over the past year. A lot of it I wish I knew when I first started. I would've done so much very differently.

So, in celebration of making a year, I'm offering you my services FOR FREE to help improve your blog.

Contact me today and ask me anything you like about blogging, especially if you are new to blogging. I'd really love to help.

Over the next few days I'll be looking back over my bloggy year.

You'll have to deal with my boring nostalga :-)

In the mean time, here is a guest post I did for a well known Aussie site that never got accepted. :-( I put a lot into this post, so it's time it saw the light of day.

Enjoy!

- tork

A Father amongst the Mums

What is a dad doing writing a blog? You don’t see very many
of us. We are a rare species amongst a flock of mums.

I stick out like a thorn amongst a bed of roses, but hopefully I
give a father’s perspective of parenting amongst the mums.

In Australia, a majority of blogs are Mummy blogs. That’s not a
bad thing, its great! I love mums because they are the majority
of my followers, so thank god for the mums!

It’s great seeing mums writing and being creative. It’s better
than sitting on Facebook building up a farm on Farmville like so
many mums do.

So, why do I write?

I’ve said this previously on my blog:

Times are not kept in Facebook updates nor Twitter hashtags
Stories are held for our future.

I like to think that one day, someone can easily pick up and read my thoughts and stories from the
past. You think someone down the track will read all your tweets or updates? I don’t think so.

That is why I write. But! That’s not just why I blog.

Let me take you back to the start..

A Blog is Born

Ahh, I remember the day clearly. My wife is pregnant with our first child. I am sitting in my study
freaking my face out.

I ask myself “Am I going to be able to afford to feed and clothe both my wife and my first born on a
single salary?”. So it’s off to the internet!

I jump onto Google and type ‘How to make a million dollars whilst sitting on your big fat arse eating chips all day’.

Nah, I didn’t actually do this. It wouldn’t make any sense anyway as ones backside is fantastic and not fat, although I does enjoy me chips!

*ahem* But I digress.

I was actually on YouTube and I type in something along the lines of ‘make money on the internet’.
I was just intrigued at how folks are running websites and making a great living from them. I was
also extremely jealous, having tried to create a website myself years earlier without success.

So I find a video of some dude jibber-jabbering away about making dollars on the net. Blah-blah
this and blah-blah that. Then he stops and says “GET A BLOG. I cannot emphasise this enough!”

Yeah, okay. Let’s do that.

I had heard about these blog things and didn’t get the whole appeal about them. I do enjoy writing,
so, why not?! Onwards I go! Over to a little place called blogger and I set up an Aussie Dad Blog.

What to write about

I wasn’t exactly sure what my blog would be about. I knew that I’d be writing about being a father,
but what else could I do? So I basically did whatever popped into my mind. The moment I had the
blank text box in front of me to write something, I just wrote. I still do the same to this day, so you
never can be sure what you get with me.

The first few weeks were the pits. No one wanted to read my ramblings. Occasionally I got
someone to accidentally click a link, but they didn’t stay. *boohoo*

Nobody came because I wasn’t telling the right people to come visit.

So, I learnt from the best on how to blog, on how to tell the right people what I’ve done. I’ve learnt
tips on how to set out a blog, on how to write posts, how to use social media, as well as learning
from my own mistakes.

Now, I still make mistakes, but I’m sharing what I’ve learnt with blog tips of my own. I also post
inspiring songs every weekend, have my own blogger award I love running, but my favourite thing
to do is just write.

So, who is Torkona?

That is a good question, a question that I still ask myself. I am often asked more about myself, of
what makes me tick. The best way I can answer that is, I am just me.

I’m a country born Aussie living in the big sticks. I’m into every sport you can think of. I am
also quite clever at the art of ‘hand fart noises’, a technique I aim to pass down to my future
generations.

But, I’m just some guy who likes to talk about the things I love.

And finally, I am a Dad.

My world revolves around my son, so the majority of my posts are about my boy and the realisations that I am now a Dad and have to be a grown up.

Pfft, nuts to that! Grown ups are people like my parents or my school teachers. But, we’ll see how long I can get away being a clown. I’m sure when the young fella starts acting up like I did growing up, I’ll have to be one of them nasty grown ups!

But I love my new little family. I can’t wait for what is going to happen over the next few months and years in my household. And I’m sure to be blogging through every step of it.

Writing is in my blood

So, after about a month of learning the basics on blogging I realised I’ve found back my passion
with a new way to express it.

Writing. I’ve loved it always. I can’t say I am a big reader, well, reader of books at least. I have
read about as many books as I have fingers. And no, I’m not some freaky side show act with more fingers than Tiger Woods has girlfriends. About ten books would be the total amount of books I’ve read.

So I’m not sure why I love to write, I just do. I grew up writing poetry, which I am trying to find more time to do so. I’ve always wanted to write a book, I just don’t have the time or patience to nut one
out. I’ve always said, I’ve never had much patience. I guess I’d never make a good Doctor.

*Boom-boom tish!*

So even though my blog was solely created to gain the second wage that I wanted for my new
family, it no longer has that sole purpose.

My passion for writing is back.

I want to make people laugh. I want to make people cry. Joyful crying of course, as in “ohh, that’s
beautiful!”, not “I’M-A gonna make-a you cry!!” Hmm, not sure why I did the Super Mario brothers
accent there.

Anyway, whatever my posts may be, I write for my family. That is what my blog Tork’s Blog is for.

But hopefully one day, you’ll type into Google ‘How to make a million dollars’ and you’ll land on my
blog to see a picture of me sitting on my fat arse eating a bag of chips.

Ahh, it is to dream.

In the mean time, I hope you’ll come over and visit. Thanks for reading.

- tork

If Shakespeare Was Australian

2011-11-28T21:55:00.000+10:30

I love poetry and writing.

A great inspiration to me (and many) is William Shakespeare.

Imagine if Shakespeare was an Australian. A true blue, fair dinkum Aussie.

Hmmmm.. this is how I'd imagine he'd write like:

Oi! What bloody light through that window there breaks! It is the east! And Juliet is a great sheila!

---------------

What's in a name? That we call Bruce.. By any other name would smell as bonza bewdy.

---------------

Hamlet:
G'day chicky babe, how'd you like this play?
Queenie:
The lady does bloody protest too much, I reckon.

---------------

All the world's a stadium,
And all the blokes and sheilas are merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
They call him Gary Ablett Jnr.

---------------

To beer or not to beer, that is the question.
Whether it's no beer in the hand, you'd suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous pub prices.

---------------

Fartin' is such sweet sorrow

---------------

Oi Robbo, Robbo.. where the bloody hell are you Robbo!?

---------------

Alas poor Bazza, I knew him well.

---------------

~~A plague on both your houses!~~ Oi mate! You're fucked!

---------------

I really should put my time to better use :-)

What do you think? Have you got your own Shakespeare quote turned Aussie?

- tork

15 Gift Ideas For Dad This Xmas

2011-11-17T22:03:00.003+10:30

Stuck for ideas on what gifts to get dad for Christmas this year? Don't know what to get your father, your kid's father, or husband and you're stressing out about it?

Well, I'm a dad. Who better to give you gift ideas for your own dad or husband this Xmas than me?

Here's what this Dad would be wishing for under his Xmas tree:

1. Golf Clubs

At some stage in their life, a dad will want to golf. A set of new golf clubs will get daddy or hubby out of the house and away with their annoying dad jokes. It will also get dad fitter and healthier, unless it is a bad mother set of clubs that comes with an inbuilt esky. That would be awesome.

Lind Golf is an online supplier you might like to check out.

2. Expensive Alcohol

Don't skimp, it's Christmas. A well aged scotch, a fine port or an imported carton of fancy beer will put a smile on dad's face from ear to ear.

3. Hardware Store Voucher

Dad's don't care about whether you give them a voucher as a present, especially if it is for his local hardware store! Don't even bother buying something there for him because even strolling through the aisles will make him happy. Guys like to window shop too (especially with that massive outdoor BBQ setting that he never is going to afford).

4. Condiments

Find something out there, something different. One of my favourite finds was fish spices that included Eucalyptus. Dad's enjoy cooking too, and a fancy spicy sauce for a BBQ Steak, or seasoning you'd never heard of before, is often a good idea.

5. Stupid Hats

Dad's love them. My dad once wore his captains hat we got him for ages. As embarrassing as it may be, it's Xmas, and you'll laugh about it for years to come.

6. Novelty T-Shirts

If there is a t-shirt out there that says "No, I am the Batman", then I must have it. A cool t-shirt with something clever like that can be a great idea. Create your own even. Another suggestion: "My eyes are up here". I'm giggling already.

7. Poker Set

Ohh yeah, us guys love to play poker. You can get an el cheapo set for $10, but go a bit flashier. Get a set with plenty of chips. Only one deck of cards is needed. Then dad can invite the boys over for a night in of cards, whilst wifey goes out on the town for her own fun!

8. Board Game

Growing up, there were these things before computer games called board games. Remember those? Dads will love playing classics like Pop-up Pirate or Hungry Hungry Hippos, so even the old ones or second hand (in great condition) is a great idea. What I would really love one day is a chess table. It's a table for two with a chess board top. You can then buy elaborant pieces, but this gets kind of pricey. Teaching my boy one day will not only be educational, but great fun.

9. Fart Putty

For the dad or husband who's got everything. Don't judge me, it's great :-)

10. Sock and Jocks

As much as we might groan at underwear as a present for every gifting occasion, we realise down the track how lucky that present was when holes start to appear in things.

11. Domain Hosting

Dad or hubby like to blog? Get them a domain! Little Hero Hosting is a local Australian business run by a mum. They register and host for cheap. Consult with Dad on this before purchase of course, but go for it! Need more of us dad bloggers!!

12. Photograph on Canvas

Has dad or hubby taken a photo that he loves? Turn it into a portrait! Services exist online to upload a photograph, select portrait size and have it arrive on your doorstep in a week. Favourite memories will then always be on your wall to remember. If you're in Australia, try Direct Art Australia.

13. Something Homemade

Dad's love anything homemade from the kids, especially in the first couple of years of birthdays and Christmases. Artwork is usually the way to go, otherwise be inventive! It's also a cheap option for the penny pinchers.

14. Coffee

Keep the instant coffee for when guests arrive. Give dad the good stuff. Look around to find the best coffee beans and give him a big bag. Will also be worthwhile getting a coffee machine and all them do-whackies that go with it.

15. Solar Powered Water Fountain

Sounds a bit of a weird gift? Well, this is what I've been after for a while now. They're sold at hardware stores and likely at plant nurseries, but eBay have loads as well. Dads like to potter around the garden. We love digging holes :-) A small fountain can be very cheap and can also keep kids/mums in the garden as well.

So there you have it. 15 ideas for dad this Xmas. Please link to this page on your own blogs if you liked it!

If you are still lost, check out Gifts for Men and you can buy something quirky online today.

Good luck shopping!

- tork

Ps. If you have ideas for what to get mums, you gotta help me out :-)

Here We Go Again

2011-11-16T06:59:00.000+10:30

I wrote this last week beside my son's hospital bed.

The other night it happened again. We thought he's just got a cough. We put the baby boy down to sleep like we always do.

Half an hour into his sleep, he can't breathe. He's coughing and sucking in deep breaths. This sniffy nose of his is turning out to be what they always told us when he catches a cold, an immediate trip to hospital.

After the wife manages to bring up the phlegm that was annoying him, we're in the car with a boy that is breathing better. I'm telling the wife to slow down through the speed camera light intersections whilst I'm in the back checking on him.

We get to emergency and bypass a filled waiting room of sick babies. Glad for that, but the scorn faces of others that we push past burns as if we were the worst people on earth.

We soon are told our boy has croup. If you know our story with our baby not breathing properly, you'd know he has tracheomalacia. This plus croup is not a great combination unfortunately, as croop narrows his breathing passages and his condition already has it narrow enough.

On to the meds, which give him an allergic reaction. Out come the hives. There is now concerns he might swell up. On to an oxygen mask that sprays adrenalin in his face. This helps open his airways.

It works like magic.

So he has an OK night's sleep after all this. He still has his cough though, but he still has his smile. All his stats look good.

As I write this beside his hospital bed, I am hoping we'll go home today, but I don't want to go home and go through all that again. Enough with the freak out moments. This part of life we can all do without.
So I am staying close in his room. I'd hate to walk the corridors and bump in to parents we've met on previous stays. I want them all to be home. I don't want them to still be here.

Stupid croup.

My whining on Twitter about not being able to afford my old lifestyle of computer gaming doesn't matter so much anymore. All my time is focused on my boy to care.

Silly things aren't they?

- tork

Our Baby's Health: The Story Continues

2011-11-05T21:05:00.000+10:30

We don't have it nearly as bad as other parents I've met during our times in baby hospital. It was the most depressing time of my life and I still feel so bad for all those parents with sick kids

But our boy is on the mend and this post is all about the exciting news I've been keeping from you. Too bad it hasn't come to fruition.

Here's the story so far:

My Baby Boy Can't Breathe Properly
Oh Boy, Will You Ever Speak?
Don't You Love a Misdiagnosis?
Why Doctors Can Sit on it and Rotate
The Oxygen Test: Do We Finally Disconnect My Son?
My Son Needs Oxygen Every Day. Or Does He..
When Baby Leaves Their Bassinet and Upgrades Rooms

So my little boy has been off his dependency to oxygen tanks during the day for a month or so. It has been great. He's still on it during the night though. This is the news that I want to tell you, that he is off it for good.. but I can't.

During my all nighter of watching him during his oxygen test, he apparently didn't do so well without the oxygen connection. He had a bad night, a restless one. He's teething. He also has a Cough/Cold. That doesn't help his sleep and also my persistant coughing during because of my flu didn't help, but that was taken into consideration (apparently). He dropped below levels when he shouldn't have, but I'm pretty sure I didn't do the test right.

It's hard doing it by yourself! It's hard staying awake and sane for 24 hours just staring at a sleeping baby. As cute and as interesting he may be, sleep needs to be chucked in somewhere.

Oh well, another 2 months of oxygen at night for my poor little boy, and another 2 months of us watching over him at night in case the oxygen cord is wrapped around him by accident. We have to wait until next year of course because it's Christmas and the doctors are busy.

Yay.

But we'll take it in our stride and remember all those kids we met in hospital that are still in hospital today. My little tacker was only in there for two to three weeks of his life, some haven't left after two years. My thoughts are often with those parents and I realise how lucky we are.

But it's not all bad news. I have fantastic news too.

Remember how my boy is supposed to have vocal cord palsy and we weren't sure if he is supposed to be able to speak?

In the last few days he has been talking! Guess what his first word is?

"Da-da"!

You can stick vocal cord palsy up your ass you stupid doctors!! :-)

I win the race to be the first word. Yes!

So we're currently seeing around five different doctors (including a speech therapist). Four have categorically said he does not have vocal cord palsy. The last one is the team that said he had it in the first place. They say he probably hasn't got it, but you think they'll ever admit to their mistake?

Pigs might fly out of Kim Kardashian's big fat ass when they do.

I guess talking isn't a good enough sign that he will ever be able to talk. Go figure.

Thanks for all your support with your comments and tweets. I love seeing them all and try to respond to each one. Hopefully next time I am talking about it we'll be all disconnected for good.

- tork

Here's Who I Look Like

2011-11-03T21:12:00.000+10:30

You wouldn't know what I look like. That's because I've never really shown you.

My internet alias keeps me hidden, and I know that annoys a lot of people.

So to tease you even further, here are my dopplegangers, AKA people that I am told look just like me.

Enjoy wondering!

Daniel Vittori - New Zealand Cricket Captain

Chord Overstreet - That guy on Glee

Sebastian Vettel - Formula One guy.. this one annoys me.. grrrr!

Prince William - Maybe more when we were both younger

The unknowing still annoying you? ;-)

- tork

Questions From My Wife

2011-11-01T20:56:00.000+10:30

Questions From My Wife is a series on this dad blog to give moms/mums a perspective on what their husbands actually think, answering those annoying questions that every wife wants to know.

Q. Why Don't I Do Anything?

A. Anything? That would mean I would be dead, wouldn't it? Breathing is something, so I do do something (hehehehe doo-doo).

If you mean, why don't I clean more, I do clean! I clean up the food off my plate after I cook for the both of us. And, err, ooh, the outside. I clean up outside.

Yes yes, I'm not a big cleaner. You remember the state of my batchelor pad, don't you? I think I've come a long way from there! Building Mt Everest out of plates and cutlery is a thing of the past.

The weekend gives me more time in the day to do things. I don't want to clean at night! Coming home from work is time spent for me to play with the little boy, as well as rock him to sleep. So give me the weekends for the odd clean up.

House looks great as it is anyway. You do a good job considering our boy is starting to crawl and teethe!

I Haven't Blogged In a While, Have I?

2011-10-30T22:17:00.000+10:30

I haven't been around for a bit have I?

Yeah, I've been down with the flu, as well as a few other things going on in the extended family. Seems having a baby doesn't give you much spare time. Who would have thought?

To tell you the truth as well, I've started so many posts but just haven't finished them. Dunno. Just sometimes, any spare moment that you get as a parent, you are so tired and can't be bothered doing anything. That dreaded wall.. blergh...

We all hit the wall and it's really hard to climb over. Let's see if I can get over the top, as I've spent so much time so far on my blogs. The Blog Plan is a passion to improve and teach, as well as my list of blog topics and this dad blog of mine.

I've also been waiting for a certain day to arrive. A day where I can tell you some hopefully great news.

I also think if I ever give up blogging, then I'll never find myself completing a life goal of mine. A goal on my bucket list.

Writing. Other than blogging, I really want to write some stories. I've so many stuck in this brain of mine.

Writers block is not something I get. It's my use of time that often sets me back.

Also, my stat-watching on my blog isn't helping. Hard to stick out as a dad blog in this crazy world of ours hehehehe. I just want thousand of folks reading my bollocks on the screen, just like any other blogger. Must stop doing that.

So I'm sorry I haven't been around for a bit. I'll do better. Keep me on my toes about it :-) and stay tuned for my good news that I can't wait to tell you about!

- tork

Remember To Give Her A Break

2011-10-23T20:55:00.000+10:30

If you're a dad that works during the day, you probably already know it's hard to leave for work and say bye to your baby child every day. I know it is.

I am a recently new father and I hate leaving for work to leave behind my wife and our little chap. You miss out on new things your kid does. Little things like new noises, their first crawl or first step. But don't just think about the things that you are missing, think about all the work your wife or partner is doing whilst you are away.

It's all good having a babysitter or day care service, but why not take a whole day off work? Take a day and let your other half have a day to themselves! A happy wife is a happy life, plus you get a day spending with your kid, not letting any chance that you'll miss one of their firsts!

- tork

ps. Short but sweet post today, but thanks to asking how I am via my Twitter @Torkona3. I've been feeling like crap beaten up lately, but yes I'm slowly getting there, and getting around to my neglected blog :-)

Sometimes the Tooth Hurts

2011-10-13T13:00:00.000+10:30

Oh yes. Ham and salad wrap my wife has made me for lunch.

Mmm, too much mayonnaise. Ahh well, I dont mind really.

Ooch! My tooth... Aaaaaargh! It hurties!

Man pain. Us dudes seem to suffer from it. Our wives will say "stop being a baby". What? Sleep all day, cry when we don't get our way and poo ourselves? Yeah, ok. I'll stop that.

But seriously, my tooth freakin' hurts. I take a break from work to have a lay on the grass. Have a bit of a rest to wait until the throbbing stops. Then, the sudden waft of dog crap smell.

Crap!

It's ok, I am pretty sure I'm not laying in it (phew!)

But having my wisdom teeth taken out was a bitch. I've been putting off going to the dentist for ages for this stupid tooth. Now the time has come. The tooth hurts and it probably needs to go.

I'm fearing the costs involved now. Having a baby on one wage is not cheap. Thinking about pimping out my services and get paid to write. Hmmm...

Do you currently have stupid teeth that annoy you? Do you also have high powered, over the counter pain killers willing to give over? :-)

- tork

When Baby Leaves Their Bassinet and Upgrades Rooms

2011-10-06T07:40:00.000+10:30

We're going on around five months now with baby boy still sleeping in his bassinet in our bedroom. He's yet to sleep at nights in his own cot.

He hasn't even used his own cot yet! Maybe a couple of times during the day, but we really are taking our time before he's moved into the big boy room. His own room.

Why We're Taking Our Time

We're taking our time to move rooms with him basically because of his breathing problems. We like being in closer reach at nights. Well. My wife does at least.

"Can you check him too see if he's alright?"

"Can you get up and settle him?"

..boy do I regret sleeping on the side of the bed closest to the bassinet.

Anyway, the little tacker is getting too big now. Around the 8kg mark now, which is great. But it's getting time to cut the cord, pack his bags and send him out in this big world of ours.

That's what it's going to feel like, sending him far away. We'll be worried about whether he's sleeping on his face, we'll be worried about not hearing him crying. I'm also worried about how much sleep we'll get. Will he be restless in a new room? Will he sleep at all? I am dreading the half asleep/half awake zombie like walks we'll be doing down to his room to settle him. But, the time has come soon. He's got to go, even though he really isn't a trouble in our room. He's just too big to stay!

- tork

What were you like shifting your baby into their room? How old were they?

Best Dad Jokes

2011-09-30T22:01:00.003+09:30

The definition of a dad joke.

One that is embarrassingly bad
One that only the dad finds funny

Here are my best dad jokes. You can purchase your own joke books here.

I was once a pantomime cow. I mooved the audience to tears.

---

I've just been diagnosed as colorblind.

I know, it certainly has come out of the purple!

---

Want to hear a cat joke?

No?

Ohh, you gotta be kitten me!

---

6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.

---

Last night I dreamt I was a muffler.

I woke up exhausted.

---

Why don't you play any games with the God of Thunder?

Because he's a Thor loser.

---

I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.

---

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea..

---

Son: "I feel Hungry"

Dad: "As long as you're not feeling Jordan too then that's ok with me"

---

I've told you a million times, stop over exaggerating!

---

Man, my memory isn't as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my memory isn't as sharp as it used to be.

---

Why is it always in the last place you look?

---

I'd never have more than one wife. But if I did, that would be big of me.

---

You know why they call it Rhinoplasty?

Well, have you ever seen a sexy Rhino?

---

What does a pirate say when he's having a heart attack?

Argh me arteries!!

---

I've got a dentist appointment.

It's at 2.30

---

Son: "Back shortly"

Dad: "Ok, but don't call me shortly"

---

Mum: "Ohh look, free baby samples"

Dad: "No thanks, already like the one we got"

These jokes are just the tip of the dad jokes iceberg! :-)

Have you got a dad joke? What is your favorite?

- tork

My Son Needs Oxygen Every Day. Or Does He?

2011-09-29T22:00:00.003+09:30

My son needs oxygen everyday. This is what my wife and I were dealing with a few months ago when my boy would stop breathing or make a very loud bird like noise called striding.

His striding would keep us up at night. Well, it kept my wfe up at least. I sleep through anything!

But this has slowly started to get better. Through oxygen oximetry tests, his oxygen rates that we were providing have gone down dramatically. He sleeps right through the night and so quietly now that you sometimes wonder if he's still there.

We were also told he has vocal cord palsy on both his vocal cords. A symptom that leaves people unable to speak or with a husky voice. This is a symptom that appears mainly when there is trauma to the cord during pregnancy or birth. He did have the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck (poor little guy) but this is common and is not yet a proven cause of the symptom. We had scans on his brain to see why he would have this condition, but that came back as normal.

So, he just had it. He had vocal cord palsy. Couldn't say yes definitely, but the doctors did anyway.

As my lovely return readers will know, he hasn't shut up for months. Every morning me and him have a chat before I go to work. We've since come to realise that he was simply inflamed during his camera down the throat procedure, but the hospital was too rushed for time with a back log of patient procedures. So they came to a conclusion quickly to save time that it wasn't inflamation but the palsy.

They sent him back to his room too fast and due to his inflammation, his breathing was constricted and he almost stopped for good. That was our scariest day, where we almost lost him.

But, thats all a nasty memory. A time we'll look back on to see how lucky we are to have our little boy.

But this post isn't about a whinge fest. It's about something more important.

I am happy to say that after all these months..

HE'S FINALLY OFF HIS OXYGEN!!

And aren't we two happy parents! We finally have our son back. His face is no longer covered by plastic tubing specs. We no longer will trip over annoying cords or worry about snagging him or hurting his neck when the cord gets stuck.

He's been a trooper through it all though. Hardly cries with it on his face. Loved playing with it, loved sticking it in his mouth. He's been a really good boy and never stops smiling or laughing. I don't think it ever really bothered him..

The worst time I've ever had was being in the children's hospital around sick babies with tubes down their throats or with heart conditions.

It's terrible, but eventually it will be ok.

If you know a parent going through a similar time in their life, let them know you're there for them and it will be ok too.

So, my little lion cub is off his oxygen. We love it. But FYI, he still has it on during the night, only on the extreme lowest setting. That doesn't annoy us or him though. He sleeps, we put it on his face. He wakes in the morning, we take it off. It's like it was never there.

Look out world, here comes my boy!

- tork

10 Things You'd Hate About Me

2011-09-25T17:47:00.000+09:30

I was tagged over at Tattoo Mummy to share 10 things about me that you'd hate. I don't often get so personal, but I know you really want to know!

1. I have smooth hands. Women are jealous. I don't why. They hate that too.

2. I can serve a tennis ball at around 200kph.

3. I have a vertical leap of 64cm. I once jumped over a small car.

4. My fastest time for the 100m sprint was 11.75, about 2 seconds slower than the world record. (showoff)

5. My first car was given to me, and no, it wasn't a shitbox.

6. I've been to Paris and seen the Mona Lisa.

7. I've been to London, travelled to Stonehenge and stood in the middle of it.

8. I often win "In 25 words or less" competitions, but am too lazy to enter them.

9. I never pay for a professional massage.

10. My son is cutest thing you will actually ever see.

:-)

Now to pass the buck! Here are some people that I'd like to know about:

Finding Ones Way
Raising Amelie
Tbaoo
Nappy Daze
Sweepy Jean

They Grow Up So Fast

2011-09-23T11:07:00.000+09:30

It's amazing.

Already my little tacker is on his belly, looking around, rolling around. Each day he looks different. Each day he laughs just that little harder. Man, he is growing up so fast.

He's at a great age. Old enough to react to you but not old enough to answer back.

And cute as hell.

But I am looking forward to so many more things.

I'm looking forward to showing him things that I didn't have growing up. Movies like Star Wars (shown in the order god intended), The Matrix, Lord of the Rings. Other things like online gaming, cars for toddlers, talking Alf doll (I really wanted one, eventually bought one for $1, but it didn't work :( hehehe).

This is a problem I've found though. A lot of parents that can't wait until they grow up. Yeah, I am one of them, but I also can't wait until I get home each day. Can't wait until I get to do with him all the things he's doing now.
His latest tricks is to lay on his belly, lift his head and turn it to look at you behind him.

It's these little things that people sometimes forget. It's great to look forward to things, but it's better enjoying him being a baby.

:-)

Lord knows he won't be this adorable for the rest of his life!

- tork

Snip The Tip - An Emergency at Home of sorts

2011-09-14T21:32:00.001+09:30

The trouble with going to work and leaving baby at home with mum is that you aren't around if anything bad happens. As dad, you think every now and then about how far away you are from home in an emergency.

"Ring-Ring" goes my phone.

"Yep, what's wrong" I say to my wife, a usual answer I give other than hello, especially when I'm busy and stressed with work.

"Argh! I cut off his thumb" cries my wife.

"What the crap?! What happened"

"Well," starts my wife "I was cutting his finger nails and there's blood.."

"Good God! Is he ok? Do we need to go to hospital? Is it his thumb you've actually cut off?"

"No, not his thumb" she sobs "It's just the skin off the top. He's just crying and there's blood"

"Phew!" I say with relief "I thought his whole thumb was hurt"

"I'm a bad mum, I hurt my boy" cries my wife.

"No, don't be silly. Every mum has probably done it by now. I'm surprised you've lasted this long!"

This is what I dealt with, being away from home and thinking for about 5 seconds he was hurt badly. Wish I could always be around, but money has to be made. This is what dad's have to go through.

I thought it was gone! Thought he'd never be able to do any gaming against his old man! (Yes this was actually one of my thoughts)

It's all good though, no damage done.

But remember mums, when there is the teeniest tiniest bit of blood that appears on the top of any of the phalanges (aka. fingers), settle down, remember you aren't a bad mum, then call your husband and laugh about what has happened.

:-)

She makes me laugh that wife of mine sometimes hehehehe

- tork

The Oxygen Test. Do We Finally Disconnect My Son?

2011-09-07T23:24:00.001+09:30

My boy has had his oxygen test to see whether it is time to come off it or not.

My wife and I sat by his bedside throughout the night, with him attached to a device called an Oximetry machine. This Oximetry device sounds daunting, but it is simply a electronic strap to his foot that measures his heart rate and oxygen levels in his blood.

So, we sat through the night, watching him sleep and recording any time he moves. This is because movement affects readings. Whenever he moves, the number would drop and give a false reading, hence why we stayed up all night.

My wife took the first few hours whilst I slept. I had the second shift.

Time for my shift and I was dreading staying awake. I had our portable DVD player good to go and watched quality shows like Little Britain LIVE and then Zombie Strippers. Both fantastic films and highly recommended for other fathers.

Got through the night fine with one feed for baby and one large mug of coffee. Ten hour test done, and he did really well.

Our next important day was our visit to his doctors regarding the test. We were both looking forward to getting him off his oxygen.

However..

:-(

He is still on his oxygen.

Mother bleep.

He has, however, confirmed by the doctor, had a fantastic test and now looks and sounds like a normal baby!

Awesome!

He still is on his oxygen but at a rate of release that is more than half less of what it originally was. They're just taking baby steps, just in case.

Meanwhile, the wee whipper-snapper is doing fantastic. All he wants to do is stand on your lap and roll over in his cot. Not bad for under 5 months.

He did however turn over on his belly in his sleep. Our latest and more normal problem to worry about! Hehehe.

Now we have hopefully just one more Oximetry test left and we can take the tubes off his face.

But until then we are doing a test that is more fun. Solids.

I love watching the expression he makes on his face whilst eating it. I think the scientific name for it is "What the fuck is THAT?"

:-)

- tork

My Surprise on Fathers Day

2011-09-04T07:17:00.001+09:30

It's my first fathers day.

:-)

I am excited.

Not sure why, perhaps it is because it cements the fact that I am actually a father. I know I am a dad, but things really do take a while to sink in.

After months of nappy changes and dealing with the usual wife nagging (hehehe), it kind of slips your mind that you're now a father and responsible for a little human person for the rest of his life.

Anyway, its my first official fathers day and I'm looking forward to a day of BBQing just because I can, watching as much sport as possible and installing curtains in the house.

Food, sport, handyman work. Looking forward to it.

Happy Fathers day to all the dads. Make sure you tell your own dad to have a great day.

So what was my surprise for father's day? I got the usual socks and jocks that I assume to keep getting over the years, but I also received this gem. I love it with my whole heart!

Thanks wife! Surprised he sat still long enough to do this! :-)

Ahhh technology, this post was created sitting in bed on this lovely man day hehehe. Think I better get up and cook me some eggs!

- tork

6 Blogs That Interest Me

2011-08-29T22:19:00.001+09:30

Is it only bloggers that read other blogs? I hope not. We may be leaning towards a way of blogging life that all our readers are bloggers themselves.

I hope not. I hope that there is enough interest and entertainment to be found by those that don't blog. So, it got me thinking.

Why not make a list of blogs that I find the most intriguing. That I find inspiring.

I am putting myself in the eyes of a non-blogger and making a list. I'm sure to upset a few bloggy friends with this, so I hope you understand of you're one of them!

In no particular order, here are a few blogs that inspire me to visit:

Random Ramblings of a Stay at Home Mum

It takes great strength to lose the love of your life. When Lori lost her husband, she kept on writing. She writes and you want to read. Although I don't often visit, I know her story. I know her story through all her friends that posted well wishes for her.

If I were a non-blogger, I would keep coming back to catch up, to read and to feed from her amazing strength and heartfelt story. I wish her all the best for her and her family..

Extra Large as Life

Natalie is a sweetheart. She puts herself out there via her blog.

Now, I'm not into fashion and all that jazz, but some of the photos she puts up are great. Certainly she makes you think about image. She's empowering to put herself out there and give you confidence. I wish I could put my self out for the world to see as she does.

If I weren't a blogger, I'd still pop in and see she's got going on. Always got something interesting going on.

Living with Food Allergies and Celiac Disease

Mary has a blog all about her daughter, diagnosed with food allergies and Celiac disease. This is a site that wouldn't necessarily interest me, as it discusses preparing foods for those with allergies. But, she's much more than that.

She lets you into her family's life, her daughter's life. The good times and the bad. I can relate with my boy's health issues. If I weren't a blogger, I'd still go and visit. She's just too nice not to say hey to every once and a while. :-) And I wish her and her family all the best.

One day I might even try making one of her dishes...!

Concept Ships

Are you kidding me? These are some of the most amazing sci-fi pictures I have ever seen. Simply amazing.

I stumbled across this site even before I was a blogger. It is fantastic seeing all these original pictures of spacecraft. It inspires me to live for thousands of years so I might one day see some of them. Now to just find that dang fountain of youth.

Today I Found Out

Today I Found Out that the popsicle was invented by an 11 year old! This blog teaches you odd things that you otherwise might not have known. Strange things. I love this sort of crap :-)

Recently I learnt that around 400 years ago there was a weapon that appeared between the invention of the cannon and the firearm. It was a hand cannon. How awesome is that! Well, I think it is. Learning little trinkets of info like this is something I find exciting. Not so much an inspiring blog, but my thirst for these trinkets every now and then gets me going!

Worth1000

I want to try and be more creative. Worth1000 is all about creativity. A place I really should visit more often whenever I think I am out of ideas for anything, blogging or not blogging. Awesome photos, awesome ideas, awesome site.

Well, there you have it. A list of blogs, all different in their own ways. All inspiring in their own ways. Perhaps a few new ones that you never even heard of!

- tork

My First Official Fathers Day Draws Near

2011-08-26T22:39:00.001+09:30

My boy isn't one year old yet, so I am yet to have experienced an official Father's day. I have already celebrated it once though.

Before I finally became a Dad, my wife was around a month or so pregnant.

After around a year of trying to get pregnant, I was sitting on my couch at home. Let me rephrase that, laying on my couch (trying for a year or longer is like going into the desert without water, it drains you if you don't rest and replenish with fliuds).

But enough of the disturbing images, it was Fathers day last year when my wife finally had a pregnancy test that returned a positive result.

Best Fathers day ever.

But, that was an unofficial one, so I am looking forward to my real one. Am I looking forward to perhaps a day off? Going down the local golf course for a hit of golf with the lads perhaps? Off to a local unnamed monopolistic hardware store to purchase some new toys maybe?

Pfft.. I'm spending it with my boy. I don't want presents, I don't want any gifts. Well, they would be fantastic actually, I would like some more plants for my gardening, but thats not what I want Father's day to be all about.

I want Father's day to be all about the BBQ

Maybe not for this Father's day, as my wife and I are completely exhausted after the last few weeks. But eventually, I want just BBQs either at home or out and about. Gifts & hugs are what the chicks do.

Men! We cook meat! Red meat. And we burn it.

Yes!

Then we kick the footy or play some cricket. Perhaps turn on the computers and fight mighty online battles against each other.

I really am looking towards the future too much though. I think I am just a wee bit excited.

Until he grows older, for now, I guess I am just looking forward to sitting on that couch again and remembering my last Father's day and realizing how far we've come. From sitting on my couch exhausted, but relieved to sitting on my couch a year later exhausted...

..but watching my boy talking and rolling over all round our lounge room floor.

Yep, can't wait for that. But if the wife really wants to get me that Bunnings voucher, I wouldn't turn a blind eye to it ;-)

- tork

Remember Those Days

2011-08-22T21:53:00.001+09:30

It has been tough, life, sometimes.
You look back on days past and remember days that were care free.
Days where you could take the long walk home, away from the beaten path.
Days where you smelt the air without a waft of car fumes.
I remember those days well.

Now, as time goes by, as the days age to where you age,
Bills mount high and nappies rise higher.
Stress exists where it should not.
You realise you need to let go.
You realise you need to remember those days that were care free.

Where days were lost in adventures amongst the hillside.
And nights were toasted until the morning ended them.
Where heart to hearts were talked if days like these would ever exist.
Whether you'd have those that love you around you.
With a family that is yours around you.

When stress gets you down, remember those days.
That is who you were and who you still are.
You forget where you've been when you lose where you are.
Remember to turn around and look at where you've been.
But remember to turn back around to where you are going.

- Torkona

This was inspired by Jessica at Finding One's Way, where she amazed me with her Thursday Dedication to me in March this year. (no, I hadn't forgotten)

I turned around and looked at where I've been with this blog of mine. Whenever I want to stop blogging, I remember Jess's post. It reminds me that I may not have the worlds largest amount of followers, but I sure do have some of the best. Just like you, right now, that managed to get themselves all the way down to this sentence in the post. You're awesome and you're one of the reasons why I keep blogging.

Now I can turn back around and face forwards and see where this strange dad blog is going to take us :-)

- tork

Receding Mature Hairline, Why My Baby Has It

2011-08-20T21:50:00.001+09:30

We are past the four months old stage and my young baby boy still has his baby receding hairline.

And the number of queries from Google I've been getting about this has been astounding. I think it is time to figure this out.

Why Do Babies Have Receding Hairlines?

Good question. Too bad it's one that no one knows the answer too!

I figure it is just luck of the draw, that it just happens.

As I've come to learn, babies are born with varying amounts of hair on their head. My boy was born with a faint amount that covered his whole noggin, except for at the front where his hair was 'receding' to the left and right sides adjacent to the middle.

But after babies are born, the hair tends to either fall out or rub off due to them laying on their backs all the time. My little lion cub has an awesome mullet currently at the nape of his neck. That part never hits the mattress :-)

Don't Worry, it's Not Permanent

The hair takes its time to grow. I've known babies that can take a year or longer to get lengths of hair on their heads. It will grow in, so don't worry about it.

So if you've landed here from anywhere in Google land, worry about what school they will attend or whether they will end up becoming a Justin Beiber fan. These things are way more important to worry about.

I guess I am a little concerned for my boy though. I had a receding hairline when I was his age. My hair grew in, but it is now starting to recede just like it looked back as a baby. So this is an apology to my boy if his hair does recede when he's my age.

"Don't blame me kid, blame your grandpa for your crappy hair genes!"

- tork

Why Doctors Can Sit On it and Rotate

2011-08-15T20:19:00.002+09:30

It's Officially Unofficial.

My boy does not have vocal cord palsy!

I've never heard a baby his age talk so much, although, I haven't been around a kid his age that much!

I have arguments with him..

Me: "Ga-wa wa wa wa gurgle"

Him: "Hee hee hee"

Me: "Waa ga ga waaaaa!!"

Him: "Gurgle waaaaaoooooaaaaa Gggggg"

Me: "Ok, you win"

It is a beautiful thing.

Any other parents would be sick of him, laying on his back in his portacot, talking to himself all day long.

To us, it is like listening to Mozart for the first time, way back in the 1700's. It's something beautiful that we've been longing to hear.

To the Doctors that jumped to conclusion of him having Vocal Cord Palsy and stressing us out for his first few months of life: you can go eat a big fat one my friends..

His "Lah's" and "Da's" are being said way before any other kids his age.

Phew! So it's not official, as in, not out of the mouth of a doctor, but they are as useful as a 'No Graffiti' sign at a skate park. I don't need a doctor to tell us his cords work :-)

Now we are looking forward to getting the Oxygen off his face over the coming weeks. Here's hoping that will happen too!

- tork

Tork's Blog Undergoes Massive Exciting Changes

2011-08-12T21:14:00.001+09:30

Well, I bit the bullet. I took the bull by the horns. I *insert another metaphor here*.

Enough of that, because Tork's blog is undergoing an exciting change.

Exciting for me, hopefully for you guys too.

I am splitting this blog in half! Just like taking a cutting from a plant then jamming it into the ground to see if it will grow.

I am officially no longer providing you blogging tips via Tork's blog, nor will you see weekly Songs to Inspire. They may appear every now and then, when time allows it.

So, what does that mean?

Tork's blog will now only exist as a Daddy Blog!

It was well overdue to sort myself out and develop a blog for a particular niche, rather than a little from Column A and a little from Column B all mashed into one.

So here we are, Tork's Blog. A pure dad blog all about the perspective of being a father. A thorn amongst the roses of mum bloggers. My goal is to rank as highly as possibly in the eyes of you Mums and Dads out there as a dad blogger, hopefully becoming a great source for a few stories and life as a father.

This is what I've learnt you all love the most about Tork's blog, and so do I.

But what about the blog tips?

I love blogging, it's an addictive pastime. I love giving tips on how to blog to help anyone who wants it, so I am not going to stop sharing for anyone that finds it helpful.

This is what my blog splitting in half is all about.

Let me introduce to you: The Blog Plan.

The Blog Plan is my brand new blog. Here I will house all my blog tips that I am dying to share with you. But, it's not your average blog.

The Blog Plan will share every thing that I do on the blog. It will be a step by step blog showing how I have built the blog.

It will be a guide for a blogger not knowing where to start out, or a place to go to add the extra touches you may not have known about.

It's a blog for all bloggers, newbies, novices, experts, the advanced and you dirty wordpress bloggers :-)

Best of all, I've written an eBook for all my new subscribers called 49 Free Ways to Increase Blog Traffic. I've been a busy boy haven't I.

It needs a lot of work still, but that's the idea, for people to see a blog in it's "crap first few months" turn into a "million dollar a year income source". One can only dream.

Don't Forget to Breathe Torky Boy

Phew! What a crazy few weeks I've had putting this together! I've got too many blogs hehehehe.

But hopefully now my focus will improve on my niches and you'll tell all your friends how awesome I am. :-)

I want to say that I would highly recommend others to focus on developing a niche to keep their readers interested, but.. I want to say it, but that would be a blog tip. That's what The Blog Plan is for now!

Love to hear your opinion in splitting my blog. Do you think it's a good idea?

- tork

Father and Son

2011-08-03T20:34:00.002+09:30

Photo © Andrey Kiselev | Dreamstime.com

Tonight, I had a moment that most parents might take for granted.

I held my baby boy over my shoulder and caught a glimpse of our reflection in my sliding door window.

Why is this so special to me? Well, I hardly get to see that sort of thing. My little lion cub is hooked up to oxygen tanks due to his difficulty in breathing, so he rarely gets moved around the house further than his oxygen tank or bedroom.

Yeah it's a bit weird, but I never can pick him up and put him in front of a mirror and just look at the both of us.

Anyway, I also am away from home working, like many dad's are, and I miss out on little moments like these. Whenever I come home, the little champ is sleepy from a big day of games.

But whilst his oxygen was disconnected to be replaced with new specs, looking at our reflection I realised something I've known for a long time now.

I am a dad. He is my son.

..and I am lucky.

Hopefully soon, as we've been told we might only have to keep him on oxygen at nights, we'll get to walk him around our whole home much easier.

And little moments that sometimes get taken for granted I might take for granted one day too.

I need more photos taken with me and my son. I want to look at them and smile at how much we look alike.

So don't take the little things for granted with your kids. And to the stay at home mums, remember how lucky you are to spend at home with your kids, no matter how hard it sometimes can get.

- tork

After The Baby Blog Months, I am at a Crossroads

2011-08-02T17:15:00.001+09:30

It was Decemebr 7th, 2010.

A strange boy, new to the scene decided to start a blog.

Almost 9 months later (the baby months), a crossroads has been hit.

What do I want with Tork's blog? Am I doing the right thing or am I all over the place?

I find it is split into 3 different directions. My:

I love to inspire, with songs and poetry and that kind of crap (hehehe).

I also love to blog and with my technical knowledge of HTML, websites and social media, I love to help others.

But most importantly, I love being a Dad. I love giving the perspective of being a Dad. Dad bloggers are few and far between. We are needed to "keep the peace" :-)

But I want to know your perspective for the future of this blog. Why do you visit? What do you enjoy the most?

So it might take a few minutes of your time, but please leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you about what you enjoy the most. It could be one of them or all of them, or even something else.

If you'd prefer, I have a poll placed to the top left (underneath my blog badges link) that you can submit your opinion via, but I would love it if you could do both.

Can't wait to find out more about what you think of this guy behind the keyboard!

- tork

Songs to Inspire - Song 23

2011-07-31T19:49:00.001+09:30

Feeling unmotivated? Need inspiration? Need to be inspired?

Inspiration comes from within, you just sometimes need to be reminded - Torkona

Every Sunday I post a song to inspire.

Mad World - Gary Jules

This song is so sad. Sometimes, you need a sad song to feel good. Weird, yeah, but that is just what I reckon.

I hope it inspires you to have a bit of a cry. Otherwise, I hope it inspires you to let go for a short while of anything that worries you.

So, do you like the song? Love to hear from you!

- tork

Don't you love a Misdiagnosis?

2011-07-29T08:09:00.001+09:30

If I didn't know anything about your boy, just looking at him right now, I wouldn't think that there is anything wrong with him!

This is what two of our doctors have told us.

Fantastic!!

All the noises that our boy makes now is completely normal since our baby stopped breathing. So did he ever have have problems?

Does he have Tracheomalacia? Yes. That is for certain. He's had trouble breathing and is noisy at night. But, he is 100% better and rarely makes his striding noise anymore.

Does he have Vocal Cord Palsy? Doubtful.

This is what we've learnt:

All the noises our young little squirt makes is completely normal. A child with vocal cord palsy wouldn't cry a lot (ours does), they wouldn't ooh or ahh (ours does), they wouldn't sleep quietly (ours ...mostly... does).

We've also learnt that the diagnosis given could have been because he was severly inflamed after the camera went down his windpipe. The doctor said this could have make the cords temporarily stop working.

Didn't the doctor tell you this? Is what one of our doctors said.

Great... That would have been good to know.

So it seems, our boy's condition wasn't properly investigated. He was quickly wheeled out of his "procedure" without lengthy investigation. He also didn't have a second scope to re-interrogate the issue. These two things we've found were supposed to have been done prior to any diagnosis of vocal cord palsy.

But no. We were told during the most toughest time of our life whilst our boy was struggling for air with severely constricted and inflamed airways, struggling to get better and crying for air, told that we have a child with vocal cord palsy.

Stressing about whether he will pull through after his scope.

Stressing out for months wondering will he ever talk? Will he ever eat or drink properly? Will he have breathing problems for life?

The MRI scan we had, totally unnecessary. That week and day was terrible, concerned that there is something wrong with his brain, stressing all week and worse on the day of the scan.

All because the line up for procedures is so long, they wheel out my boy down the "factory lines" without the proper care and investigation.

Of course, they won't state that he definitely doesn't have vocal cord palsy, but if two different doctors say the same thing (especially one who current has a patient with vocal cord palsy and knows all the symptoms), I am estatic and angry at the same time.

I'm not going to say that he definitely doesn't have the palsy though. We're kind of in limbo land about it, as aren't we supposed to trust whatever a doctor tells us?

Anyway, angry that we've been put through such stress by hosptial mistakes.

Ecstatic that our boy is likely to be as normal as the next one.

You reckon that I'm going to let this slide with the hospital though?

Pfft. Pigs arse! I am going to rip someone a new one.

In the mean time, I'm still ignoring these two doctors until we get another scope to check things out again. But, how am I going to believe what they say?

One thing is for sure though, I am loving his little giggle noises that he's supposedly not supposed to make. :-)

- tork

Songs to Inspire - Song 22

2011-07-24T15:02:00.001+09:30

Feeling unmotivated? Need inspiration? Need to be inspired?

Inspiration comes from within, you just sometimes need to be reminded - Torkona

Every Sunday I post a song to inspire

Casey Donovan - Here's Where I Stand

I love this girl. This song is killer! Wish I could find a better quality version though than in a pub.

No matter. This Aussie girl inspires you to stand up and say "This is me, like it or lump it". I hope it inspires you as well.

So, what did you think about Casey? Not bad huh?

How I Increased Blog Traffic by 53000%

2011-07-21T07:46:00.000+09:30

Here's a tweet I made via @Torkona3 a while back. I've been meaning to explain how I did it.

First, here is the proof (click to enlarge):

This image is from June 20th with 83000+ visitors for this month to bLErg, my offside blog where I test best methods for traffic and adverts. So, how did I do it? It is simple and you can do it too.

Set up your blog for StumbleUpon

StumbleUpon is a fantastic tool for the bored. I click it whenever I want to find something funny without knowing what I want to laugh at. It's also used as a search tool for sites that you're interested in.

How it works is a user installs a toolbar on their browser. This toolbar has a 'stumble' button, which when clicked takes you to a random page of any category you choose.

StumbleUpon is how the bLErg site landed its traffic. I simply had a fantastically hilarious post (Queens Bohemian Rhapsody in Pictures) that I uploaded to be stumbled. Whenever someone stumbled upon it, people would rate it.

The more good rates a post gets, the more traffic it can receive. There are other elements as well, such as being a respectable member of StumbleUpon. The more followers you have, the more street cred you get in the value of your posts that you upload. Once you set up a StumbleUpon account, you can add me to your stumble following list and I will add you back to increase your street cred!

I got lucky, and the traffic has started to subside. It also hasn't landed me a great number of extra followers, as stumbles from the 'Funny' search are fickle. But going from 3000 views an hour down to around 100 an hour for a site that is only my test site for traffic ideas and AdSense placement ain't too shabby, so I'm not too upset by it.

But you really want to use it for your site, even if you might not receive the same high amount of traffic, you'll still get a decent trickle of traffic over the years. But see if you can get lucky like me!

Add a StumbleUpon button to your site and see how you go.

So, sorry for the delay @kirri_white @ReservoirDad @SameliasMum @Diaryofasahm. I promised I will let you know how I did it.

- tork

Do you currently use StumbleUpon? How much traffic does it get you?

Free Website Directory Launch - Review'd

2011-07-18T21:16:00.003+09:30

Today I bring exciting news. A project that I have been working on and looking forward to.

I have been looking at blogs for many months now. A lot of different types and really enjoying a majority of them.

I have been reading blog tips and putting out a few of my own.

One of the major fall points I have come to see is that there is no place to go to find a great list of different types of blogs. Yes, I do enjoy reading people's favourites listed on their blogs, but i'd love to see blogs listed in categories.

So, I made my own site to do this, and it is officially being launched tonight, right now.

Review'd is a free website directory where you can add a url of your own website or blog. It is a place where you can increase your Google ranking, search for blogs from a list of blog topics to find sites of your favourite things. Well, it will be, with your help.

It needs user submitted sites, so simply submit your site and see the traffic roll in! Be listed in categories based on your niche! I can't wait to get a great list of all your blogs, but you have to visit the site and submit your info.

But why is it called Review'd? That is because you and other internet folks can review each site submitted! You can add a comment or you can hit Like, Retweet or the new Google +1 to Rank a site. The more people that vote with their clicks, the higher a site will rank.

The best sites are displayed on the site, based on all these clicks. So you can see some great sites that everyone else thinks is great too!

Enough talk from me :-) Please visit Review'd and tell me what you think.

(God I hope I can get this thing working right)

Here goes nothing!

- tork

Songs to Inspire - Song 21

2011-07-17T18:38:00.001+09:30

Feeling unmotivated? Need inspiration? Need to be inspired?

Inspiration comes from within, you just sometimes need to be reminded - Torkona

Every Sunday I post a songs to inspire.

The Whitlams - Buy Now Pay Later

Now, I love this song. The Whitlams are a great Aussie treasure.

I love a good piano. Add a few strings and it adds to a song's value. This song is just fantastic. If you like this song, you should check out their other songs for great inspirational tunes. Or.. you could suscribe to my blog and you're likely to find a few more in this series.

This song just makes you feel good, it makes me feel good. I hope it makes you feel good too.

And I hope it inspires a few goosebumps :-)

What did you think of this song? Hope you liked it!

- tork

Oh boy, will you ever speak?

2011-07-15T20:47:00.001+09:30

source: dreamstime.com

Imagine if your child will never be able to speak. That is what my wife and I wonder every day.

This is the diagnosis given to us when our baby boy went to hospital with trouble breathing. My boy has got vocal cord paralysis.

So, every noise my little lion cub makes is precious. Every 'ooh' every 'aah' and the laughs that he is slowly starting to work out are so fantastically awesome, that you can't imagine. How does a baby make these noises without using his vocal cords? That's the thing, they can't.

To make these sorts of noises, the vocal cords are in use. Now, I am nowhere near a doctor, but with a bit of research, that is what I am lead to believe. I am holding my breath until we speak to the specialists, but all signs point to 'an incorrect diagnosis'.

He makes so many noises, how can he NOT be using his vocal cords? It's not just the crying, but the little giggles and that.. Man, I am hoping that it is a wrong diagnosis.

Bring on the specialists. I'm still cautious, but I think you can see my confusion.

All I know is that this weekend, I am going to be making every stupid noise possible for as many giggles as possible.

- tork

Songs to Inspire - Song 20

2011-07-10T13:15:00.001+09:30

Feeling unmotivated? Need inspiration? Need to be inspired?

Inspiration comes from within, you just sometimes need to be reminded - Torkona

Every Sunday I post a song to inspire.

Adele - Someone Like You

Adele. I love that someone like you exists. I don't know if you have written this song, but I love it. Not only for your fantastic singing, but also for bringing the balland back! The 80's saw crap loads of ballands, the 90's had a few too, but since then its died off.

This song will hopefully bring others to copy the trend and bring them back, in this new format that you've sung.

One Singer. One Piano. One well written and powerfuly poetic song.

Sometimes, you just got to love music. It inspires me to be someone like you.

What do you think about this song?

- tork

It makes me sick

2011-07-06T07:14:00.000+09:30

With my boy in and out of hospital with breathing problems, this article I read this morning made me sick.

$18,000 for sick toddler stolen @ninemsn.

Allegedy, $18,000 was stolen from a charity night dinner where the funds were going towards a sick Sydney toddler with leukemia. The person who allegedly stole it seems to be one of the people organising the night.

Disgusting.

I look at the picture of the young girl and see my own boy in her eyes. She looks so sad.

I look at the parents and feel for them.

How can anyone be so desperate for money to steal from a sick child with a devestating illness? Are they souless or are they just so strapped for cash they exist outside of reality?

This article just saddened me. When you relate your own stories to others, you just feel for them so much more.

Luckily, my boy is no where near as ill as this young girl, but I wish their family all the best in their trying time that has been made even worse.

My heart goes out to them.

- tork

Songs to Inspire - Song 19

2011-07-03T10:27:00.001+09:30

Feeling unmotivated? Need inspiration? Need to be inspired?

Inspiration comes from within, you just sometimes need to be reminded - Torkona

Every Sunday I post a song to help you find your inspiration.

One of my most favourite songs from a movie is this:

Gene Wilder - Pure Imagination

Taken from the movie Charlie and the Chocolate factory with Gene Wilder playing Willy Wonka, this song is captivating and spine tingling.

Willy (aka Gene) sings this ditty with such clarity and meaning. I love it. Every time I hear it, it reminds me that the world is massive and fantastic.

Now, I found this great video that has the song, however it is played over images taken from the Hubble Telescope.

This brings whole new perspective to the song. Amazing.

I hope it inspires your pure imagination. Enjoy!

- tork

My baby boy can't breathe properly

2011-06-30T20:18:00.002+09:30

Blessed are the parents of a healthy baby. Blessed is the baby.
But parents of a sick child understand greater just how blessed parents can be.
- Torkona

You always hope that your newborn baby is going to born healthy. It is one thing that I worried about greatly prior to my boy being born. With my wife having a few issues during pregnancy (see our birth story), we always hoped for the best.

And he was born healthy. He came out a beautiful colour, screaming his face off. Totally perfect.

A few weeks at home, he starts to make striding noises, struggling for breath. We get him checked out by our pediatrician just to see what was going on, if we were anything other than overly worried parents.

We find out, yes, he is struggling breathing a little bit.

My son has got Tracheomalacia

We are told that his struggle is likely to be what is called Tracheomalacia, a condition that is common in babies. We are told that we require further tests just to make sure that it isn't anything else and assured everything is going to be fine.

Add a week or so from our visit to the baby doctor, I am holding my precious young fella in my arms, just trying to settle him.

He has a spill, a few hours after a feed. Yep, spews on himself. Nothing too much out of the unusual, he spews all the time!

This time however, he struggles greater for breath. Every 20-30 seconds he is unable to breath. His struggles increase and he gets more and more restless.

He goes limp.

He's limp only for a few seconds, but its enough to freak our shit out. This is too much out of his ordinary struggle to breathe. We need to get him some help, so an Ambulance is called.

Thankfully, it only takes about 10 minutes for the Ambulance to arrive. Of course, he is fine by now, but we still want to get him checked out. Off we go to Hospital.

The waiting begins

So we're sitting in hospital with him daily. I never want to be anywhere other than by his side.

He does well, breathing well and sleeping well. This is because he's started on oxygen to help get all the air he needs.

We soon find out that he will need to go home on oxygen as well, perhaps even needing it for his first year of life. Hopefully it won't be as long as that, or any longer.

Waiting for further testing is excruciating. Eventually we find all his X-rays are fantastic. Yes, he does have Tracheomalcia but he seems to be swallowing his feed well nonetheless. Still, a camera scope will be required to have a look down his windpipe to confirm for certain nothing else is going on.

Great. It requires sedation and we are very nervous about it.

The day the scope comes, we are very nervous. But when it is finally time for him to be wheeled away, we aren't too bad. We give him a kiss and cuddle and take time out to try to relax and chat while he has the test done.

My wife and I return to his room early to find he is already back and looked after by our usual nurses. We thought he'd spend his recovery in intensive care, but he still kinda is getting the care he needs.

After the alloted time that he is supposed to recover, he still hasn't gotten any better. He is struggling to breath after his "procedure" and the nurses are getting worried. His windpipe is so inflamed, he isn't doing very well. He isn't in the right ward to get the correct care and we are getting worried.

He is pumped up with lots of oxygen, he has a mask put in front of his face, he has adrenalin to try and reduce his inflammation. We are freaking out thinking that he might stop breathing in front of us.

There are about 20 different doctors, nurses, ambulance officers in the room. This isn't helping. My wife and I are both pale, stressed and scared.

Then one of the doctor's that did the scope decided to tell us how the procedure went during all that is going on.

The doctor casually says "Your son has got vocal chord palsy".

Our son has got Vocal Cord Palsy?

Say what? Vocal chord palsy?

My wife cried. I dry heaved and went paler than ever before.

I immediately thought the worst. Doesn't palsy means 'doesn't work and never going to work'? Does that mean he's never going to be able to talk? He's never going to be able to laugh?

What a stupid time to tell us what is going wrong. Our son has 20 people in our room looking after him, helping to keep him in this world, helping him breath. Like we don't have enough going on!

Anyway, eventually, he starts to improve, but not enough to stay without 24 hour care and constant nurse attention. So he gets moved after 6 hours of us, yelling and arguing that he needs the proper attention AND FAST.

We get there eventually and after 48 hours, he is back to being in better health. That was the worst day of my life though. Baby boy has got no idea what is going on, but after over a year of trying to have our little boy in our lives, we are lucky we didn't have an even worse day than we did.

Anyway, that day has passed and we now at least know what is wrong with him.

And after (thankfully) clear MRI scans to find out why his vocal chords aren't working, we are finished our tests and are off home after about 3 weeks. We are setup with our oxygen bottles and he is now doing much better.

Yes, we've been back to hospital a couple of times since then, just to double check that he hasn't got a cold (due to a few new noises), but he is fine and back home we go. Unfortunately, we will surely be back again due to his issues that he has, that whenever he might have a cold he needs to be checked and looked after.

For now, we're told that he is likely to grow out of both of his conditions, his Tracheomalacia and Vocal Chord Palsy. There is a chance though that that he might not grow out of it, we really aren't sure about it. But with all his screaming he does, I can't see how his vocal chords AREN'T working!

But I can tell you what, every smile we see is precious. And we are waiting to hear his first words with a million times more anticipation than any parents before us.

So it's been tough, but if you would like to help us out with our growing medical bills, we would be ever so grateful. You can contact me via torksblog@gmail.com and even click the donate button below. I'm sure to flog whatever you like via this blog for any donators :-)

Thanks for all your wishes via Tork's blog, Twitter, Facebook and email. I love them all.

But we'll be right :-) And so will our strong little lion boy. He'll be roaring in no time.

- tork

Temporary Blog Hiatus :(

2011-06-20T21:37:00.001+09:30

For those that don't follow me on Twitter, you may be wondering why it has all been quiet on my Dad blog here.

Well, my little boy one day decided to stop breathing. He was taken by ambulance to get checked out.

He only stopped for a few seconds, so don't be too alarmed, but it's enough to freak our shit out.

He's always had this breathing problem...

A few scary things has happened since then, which I will definitely go through with you all soon enough. But be rest assured, pending further tests, we are fairly certain all his issues he will grow out of and get better as he gets older.

Will shed further light on it over the following weeks. So please stay tuned and send him your best wishes for us ;-)

- tork

Songs to Inspire - Song 18

2011-06-05T11:55:00.001+09:30

Lisa Mitchell - Oh! Hark!

Love this girl. She was a contestant on Australian Idol that (luckily) didn't win. She's since picked up an Indie audience and the reasons are obvious.

She is fantastic.

This is perhaps not my favourite song of hers, but this one has been stuck in my head all morning. I might give my fave of hers a run some time later, but this song is just so poetically beautiful. Love it.

I hope it inspires you to put down pen to paper.

Or! If you own a blog, write a poem and link it back here!

Well, here she is. Enjoy!

- tork

Blog Guest Posting

2011-05-31T19:48:00.003+09:30

Looking for some exposure for your own blog?

Well, you've clicked yourself upon the right link my friend! Here's what I'm offering.

Guest Posting on Tork's blog

Looking for exposure? Feeling creative? I'd love for you to guest post on my blog! But, there are a few guidelines.

1. Your post must be of original content, not copied from anywhere and not previously published.
2. You agree not to publish your post elsewhere.
3. You need to include a short bio of yourself or your blog (30 words or less).
4. You must give credit to any sources of photographs that you may provide.
5. You must provide the URL of your blog (if you have one).
6. If I need to edit your post, I will notify you of the edit prior to posting to my blog for your approval. Please note though, if you don't approve then I wont post it! (Refer #7)
7. I have the right to turn down any post. If I do so, you may use it however you wish.

Phew! Hehehehe, that'll do.

Posting Content

I am pretty easy on what content you would like to guest post about. If you are unsure though, simply ask me before starting.

How to Contact for Guest Blogging

You can contact me via here for all your guest posting needs and questions.

I will try to answer every email as quickly as I can.

I look forward to hearing from you!

- tork

Tork's Video

2011-05-30T21:05:00.001+09:30

Ever been to one of them professional looking blogs where the owner of the blog has an introductory video? Usually these videos consist of the owner/designer sitting in front of the camera given a spiel about themselves and their blog.

Well, I've done one of them too! Does that mean I'm now professional? (crap..)

Now, before you hit the play button, no, I'm not sitting in front of the camera. Sorry! I've gone on a different angle.

But now it means, whenever a new visitor lands on my site, they can click my video and easily see what my blog is about! I highly recommend all bloggers to try to do this. It can greatly improve on the number of return visitors as well as followers/subscribers.

I will return to give feedback after a month or so on how this addition improves my site to (hopefully) prove it is a worthwhile venture to undertake.

In the mean time, tell me what you think of my first attempt. Love to know what you think of the video, as well as the music I made myself! But, go easy please. It's my first ever YouTube video!! :-)

- tork

Songs to Inspire - Song 17

2011-05-29T11:32:00.004+09:30

Feeling unmotivated? Need inspiration? Need to be inspired?

Inspiration comes from within, you just sometimes need to be reminded - Torkona

Every Sunday I post a song to help you find your inspiration

I've said previsouly, I love a good spontanious dance up and down my hallway. I hope this inspires you to do the same.

I can say nothing else but:

Enjoy, Acid Rock!

Hahahaha!

- tork

Cappuccino vs Latte

2011-05-27T08:01:00.001+09:30

I need your help.

I've been having an argument over which type of Coffee drink is more manly.

See, I love my coffee. Can't imagine working without it.

I am a Latte drinker and I've been copping a bit of stick from my mates whenever I order one. I think it may be the fact that when I order it, I pronounce it as "Lar-tay". They think it sounds too fancy around a bunch of guys. But that's how it's pronounced, isn't it?

Anyway, I've been branded wimpy by my coffee mates that drink Cappuccinos. They think Latte's are less manly.

Pfft. I don't care whether I'm drinking a manly drink or not. I don't have a problem with it. My problem is this though; How can they call a coffee sprinkled with chocolate on top of a frothy milk layer more manly than a plain Latte?

So, I am putting the call out there for answers.

Which coffee do you think is more manly? The Cappuccino or the Latte.

Don't let me influence your thoughts though. Love to hear your own opinion.

- tork

Mad first weeks as a Father

2011-05-26T23:11:00.002+09:30

Everyone's has been asking me for an update on how fatherhood is going.

Well, I've been spewed on, peed on, pooed on.. I really must stop drinking!

But seriously folks, it has been a mad house. I have come to the point where I get spewed on and I don't change my clothes. Last night, little monkey boy went the vom on one of my shirts. I woke up still wearing the same shirt.

The definition of being used to having a new baby in your life is exactly that. If you are spewed on and don't change your clothes immediately when it is possible to, then you've settled in to parenting.

The First Few Weeks of Parenting

When we finally brought baby home, we were madly crazy running around the house sorting out our shit. Now we run like a well oiled machine.

Diapers on hand? check
Wipes on hand? check
Industrial strength goggles to prevent piss in face? check

One thing I have learnt in the first few weeks is with a boy, learn to change diapers fast. When jr Wang points outwards into the air, it often gets used for number ones. I haven't really been hit too bad, but it is an awfully tricky task to drain urine from a young boy's ear without getting anything wet.

Apart from slowly becoming a Kung Fu master at twisting, turning and applying diaper's at record speed, everything else has been great. Our only problem was learning how to feed the little tacker. He is bottle fed and due to his original weight, he needs to put on a lot more weight.

When we were told he has only put on half the amount of weight that he was required to, we were kind of puzzled. He is a bit spilly, but not that much to not be putting on weight.

We improved our feeding technique to not let as much air in when feeding. Wish we were originally showed how to feed properly. We were required to get 80g weight increase. He put on double the amount of that.

So we are kicking along well and I am learning very quickly. I must perfect my diaper chaninging technique still though to become a black belt in changing times. I am also perfecting the skill of the "sniff before agree to change" move, but don't tell my wife about that one.

It still is so very surreal though. It still hasn't sunk in. I think as soon as I hear "Da-da", then it will most definitely have sunk in.

Until then I am teaching him how to burp like his dad. You should see his eyes pop out of his head when I do it ;-)

- tork

RIP Toshiba Laptop

2011-05-25T12:17:00.002+09:30

My old friend passed away recently. My Toshiba Laptop.

Ahh the memories. Of days playing the Civilisation series, to time wasted with Seinfeld DVDs, to studying back in my college days. Yeah, I actually studied.

Now, I need a new one.

How can I land myself in a cafe and wirelessly blog and surf the net without one?

How can I plug my laptop into my 50inch plasma to play disbanded arcade games if it doesn't work any more?

Oh woe is me.. If I hadn't got that virus.. If I didn't have stupid Windows XP.. If I didn't let my wife touch the bugger (teehehe), maybe all would be right in this world.

I am going to miss my laptop. The little chew marks on it reminded me of the days when my dog was a little puppy :'(

So now I need a new one, but you think I can afford one? Pffft, no way Hose A (or Hose B even).

*kneels down*

Oh ye Internet Gods.. I pray for light to shine upon me to bring forth a new bright and shiny laptop, of which I will care for and love and blatantly flog on my blog.

I promise to be a good nerd and will always go to keep raids for the greater good!

Please see it to be! I will forever be greatful!

*sigh*

RIP Lappy.. (unless I figure out a way to fix you).

- tork

Songs to Inspire - Song 16

2011-05-22T09:03:00.001+09:30

Feeling unmotivated? Need inspiration? Need to be inspired?

Inspiration comes from within, you just sometimes need to be reminded - Torkona

Every Sunday I post a song to help you find your inspiration.

Today is a song from one of my favourite movies of all time, perhaps my favourite kids movie ever. Yeah.. I know I'm not a kid anymore, but don't judge me. You'll find it awesome too :)

The Lion King's Circle of Life

This song is fantastic. If you haven't seen the theatre production of the Lion King, you better make sure the next chance it is in your country, see it! The music from the movie is fantastic and this song is one of my favourites.

This is the most inspiring. I hope it inspires your spine to tingle..

..and for you to take your first born to the nearest rocks and lift him to the sky, like I did with my little lion cub :)

Enjoy!

- tork

How to gain useless traffic to your blog

2011-05-19T23:49:00.001+09:30

Do you like traffic? Do you watch your blog stats hourly?

Well, have I got the deal for you!

You can get traffic to your blog FREE OF CHARGE!!

How? It's easy. It's called Useless Traffic.

That's right, useless traffic. Hoards and hoards of single clicks to your website that never get you any followers, don't stay for longer than a second and don't click your ads. Useless traffic, free of charge.

How do you get useless traffic? Well, I'm glad you asked..

Post your URL in irrelevant places

Have you got a great link you want people to see about puppies? Well, why not add the URL to a popular forum? Perhaps a gaming website with the heading "Get a load of these puppies!". Yep, the gaming nerds would click on that faster than the speed of light!

Don't worry about posting your link on a relevant site about dogs or animals. Mislead people to get that useless traffic you deserve!

Aim for Google Image Search Results

Put only pictures on your blog posts. Also, name the picture file. So if it is a picture of those little dogs of yours, call it 'my_big_puppies.jpg' and watch the streams from Google Images come through and only look at your photo, not at your site.

This will give you loads of useless traffic for free!

So there you have it folks! Two methods for getting visitors to your site that are completely useless!

Thank you for not shopping with us!

- tork

fyi - this is intended as a joke and a message to help stop you getting useless traffic. This sentence is only here for the people google searching "my big puppies". ;-) Thank you for your time

This is how you write

2011-05-19T07:48:00.002+09:30

Twitter this morning is a-buzz with the latest article from Roseanne Barr - And I Should Know.

Wow, what a fantastic piece. So good, I could not "put it down". Want to learn how to write fantastic posts? Take a tip from Roseanne, as this is bloody fantastic.

A excerpt from the article:

“Winning” in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking. When you become No. 1, you might begin to believe, as Cher once said in an interview, that you are “one of God’s favorite children,” one of the few who made it through the gauntlet and survived. The idea that your ego is not ego at all but submission to the will of the Lord starts to dawn on you as you recognize that only by God’s grace did you make it through the raging attack of idea pirates and woman haters, to ascend to the top of Bigshit Showbiz Mountain.

Genius. It makes me want to write better. But the reason why this writing is so good is that Roseanne puts herself into it. It's as if she is talking it to you as you read it.

That's what you want to try to aim for with your own blogging. Write as you are. Roseanne did and the attention she is getting for these few words is amazing.

What are your tips for writing? What do you think of Roseanne's article? Love to know! :-)

- tork

Best of Eurovision 2011 Germany

2011-05-16T20:45:00.002+09:30

Yes, I love Eurovision. With little sleep and one large mug of coffee, I got through the whole show! Here were my favourite countries.

Best Eurovision Performances 2011

Italy

Song was very good. I do enjoy a tinkle of the ivories and the big band style. Very unique sound from the whole night.

Denmark

A very now song. It was wicked. Reminded me of Chemical Romance in a way. Enjoyed it!

Switzerland

These guys came last. I thought they are great! Ukulele's are awesome :) Why did Switzerland come last? I got no idea! Do you think they deserved it?

Germany

The hosts for this year's Eurovision 2011 was Germany. Lena last year was my favourite (and everybody's fave!). Lena came back for this sultry number that was so very awesome. Loved it.

Top 3 Eurovision songs 2011

Here are my top 3 favourites from the night.

Ireland - Jedward - Lipstick

Voted by Australians to be the very best of the night was Ireland. I thought they were the third best. Great song, great performance, great costumes.. great hair hehehe.

Moldova - Zdob & Zdub - So Lucky

I love the crazy acts each year. These guys were one of the most out there groups. But I actually loved their song, as well as their weird fairy girl on a unicycle :-) My second fave act of the night.

Iceland - Sjonni's Friends - Coming Home

Hands down, best song of the night. Originally it were to be sung by a dude called Sjonni, but tragically early in the year he died. His friends decided to put their hands up to still do his song. So six of his pals, coincidentally awesome singers, got together to sing this moving song for their friend that recently passed away.

Great work, and my favourite for the night!

So, who was the actual winner of Eurovision 2011 Germany? Some country called Azerbaijan. I didn't think it was very good. It was okay I guess, but it was as if Jennifer Lopez and her Ricky Ponting look alike son sang an awkward 'romantic' song to each other. I guess I should show it to you, here it is:

Now we look forward to Eurovision 2012 in Azerbaijan. Let me get the Atlas so I can find out where the f*ck that is!

- tork

Songs to Inspire - Song 15

2011-05-15T12:22:00.002+09:30

Feeling unmotivated? Need inspiration? Need to be inspired?

Inspiration comes from within, you just sometimes need to be reminded - Torkona

Every Sunday I post a song to help you find your inspiration.

Today is Shakespeare's Sister - Stay. This song is fantastic. I remember listening to it when I was younger. I saw the film clip when I was young and it freaked the shit out of me. Still does.

It is so weird but awesome at the same time. Something, a little bit different.

I hope it inspires you to be a little bit different :-)

- tork

What would you like to know about me?

2011-05-14T08:02:00.000+09:30

Hi there! Due to Blogspot issues over the past few days, Blogger decided to shutdown and remove any comments you may have made recently. Below is my recent post that I would love your comments on! You might too :-) So I am re-posting, here it is:

I've been thinking, you guys really don't know too much about me, do you?

What do you know? Well, I'm an Aussie and you would know I recently became a dad. You probably know I like the odd bit of music. I hope you know I enjoy having a laugh. You also probably can remember that I enjoy a bash on the computer games every now and then.

Other than these, there isn't much more I've let you know. I think it's time to let you know just a little bit more about me.

But, instead of me telling you the gory details of myself, why don't you ask me some questions instead?

What do you want to know about me? Have you got any questions to ask? Is there something that you've always wanted to know?

So drop me a comment below, contact me via the "Contact Me" tab or even say it via Twitter or Facebook. I'll answer as many questions as I can.

..without letting all my deep and darkest secrets out of the bag, of course ;-)

Can't wait to get started on them. I'll give it a couple of weeks to gather enough questions, so come back in about a fortnight for my responses!!

- tork

Social Media Sharebar and reddit.com

2011-05-11T19:03:00.000+09:30

Social Media. As much as I hate its addictiveness, I find it an essential side-kick of a blog.

As I've talked about previously on my major blog killer, how you can avoid it post, you shouldn't spend a lot of time on social sites as a blogger. But! Why not let folks know you have a recent new post? I do via my Twitter or Facebook page.

Bloggers need to spend more hours on blogs than social sites, but for the rest of the world, it is often the only sites people visit! So a blogger needs to utilise a little time on these sites to show others their posts.

One way to let the world know of your post is a tool that I wanted to let everyone know about. It is a widget that I use called a 'sharebar'. You can see it on this post to the right. This is the most useful tool that my blog has (if you're reading this via an RSS subscriber, you might like to check it out).

I can hit 'Share to Facebook' to tell my Facebook friends of my new post. I can also hit 'Retweet' to let all my Twitter followers know of my latest stuff. There's a Digg button which sometimes I use, but there is my favourite, Reddit.

I'll talk about Reddit a bit later, but firstly, here's the code for this sharebar that you can add as a widget to your own blog!

<style> #sharebar {position:fixed; bottom:15%; margin-left:230px; float:left; border-radius:5px;-moz-border-radius:5px;-webkit-border-radius:5px;background-color:##ee9ea8;padding:0 0 2px 0;z-index:10;} #sharebar .sbutton {float:left;clear:both;margin:5px 5px 0 5px;} .fb_share_count_top {width:48px !important;} .fb_share_count_top, .fb_share_count_inner {-moz-border-radius:3px;-webkit-border-radius:3px;} .FBConnectButton_Small, .FBConnectButton_RTL_Small {width:49px !important; -moz-border-radius:3px;-webkit-border-radius:3px;} .FBConnectButton_Small .FBConnectButton_Text {padding:2px 2px 3px !important;-moz-border-radius:3px;-webkit-border-radius:3px;font-size:8px;} </style><br /> <div title="Get this at wissamidrissi.com"><div id="sharebar"><div class="sbutton" id="fb"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php" name="fb_share" type="box_count">Share</a><script src="http://static.ak.fbcdn.net/connect.php/js/FB.Share" type="text/javascript"> </script> </div><div class="sbutton" id="rt"><script src="http://tweetmeme.com/i/scripts/button.js" type="text/javascript"> </script></div><div class="sbutton" id="su"><script src="http://www.stumbleupon.com/hostedbadge.php?s=5"> </script></div><div class="sbutton" id="digg"><script src="http://widgets.digg.com/buttons.js" type="text/javascript"> </script><br /> <a class="DiggThisButton DiggMedium" href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a></div><div class="sbutton" id="reddit"><script src="http://www.reddit.com/static/button/button2.js" type="text/javascript"> </script></div></div></div>

Add it as a widget or gadget, whatever your blog calls them, to the Design sections of your blog. This will display as a vertical bar on your blog.

Don't like its position? You can change it.

What you do is find the code below:

margin-left:230px;

You can change the number from 230 to anything you like. Increase it slightly and you will move it closer to the right side, decrease it and it will move closer to the left.

Having troubles? Just let me know! If it helps you I'd love to hear your feedback as well.

reddit.com

Now, about this site. Reddit is currently one of the internet's most popular sites to waste time on. It is full of good stuff on absolutely anything. It also is a good tool to get some traffic to your site. Albeit the traffic is not often useful, it is kind of cool to see a traffic spike in your stats. If using reddit correctly, you can achieve thousands of visits to your site. This can gain you perhaps a bit of GoogleAds benefits or extra subscribers if you're lucky.

Unsure about how to use reddit? It can be confusing for the new users, I know it was for me. You also have to be careful as they hate spammers, like everyone does!

It is all about selling the description you give of your links. The site has helpful features if you're lost, otherwise drop me a line and I am willing to help.

Hope you find this information helpful.

Do you use social media to share your blog? Are you familiar with Reddit? Love to hear from you!

- tork

Why does my newborn have my receding hairline?

2011-05-10T19:06:00.001+09:30

Just putting it out there, but why does my newborn baby have the exact same receding hairline as me? Am I the only father or parent who has noticed this?

After the first few hours with our son, the first thing I noticed was "Hey, he's got the same hairline as his dad!"

So my hair may or may not be starting to recede. I'll be the first to point that out. I'm not going totally bald, but it's starting to take that sophisticated old fella look. But bubs has got plenty of hair, but the pattern of his hairline is exactly as if it were receding, and exactly like mine.

I just wanted to put it out there real quick to see if any one else has noticed their son (or even daughter) had the exact same hairline as their father when born.

So has your kids had the same freaky hair pattern as their freaky father? Or am I the only freaky one around here? hehehehe

Interested to know! Let's see how we go..

- tork

The Crows need a new captain?

2011-05-08T17:32:00.001+09:30

Oh my lord.

Watching the Adelaide Crows play was like watching my new born baby boy do a poo. It's disgusting but you have to sit there and make sure things don't get too much out of control.

For my overseas readers, visit AFL.com.au to learn up on our great game of Aussie Rules Football.

Anyway, after the Crows losing to Melbourne Demons by almost 100 points, I could not hold back to vent my opinion. I know the team is young, I know we've lost our majority of experience with retirements from last year. I know we won't be winning a premiership any time soon. Still.. *sigh*

I'm not one to slam my team after a terrible loss. I still support them by watching until the very end (unless if it's against the Power, of course) but all responsibility lies on the Captain to now come out and do something, say something constructive about how to go forward.

Nathan Van Berlo is the captain and hopefully will help turn things around. But VB, as I've thought from the very start, is the worst choice of captain I've ever seen. From this fan's point of view, he is Captain for his own benefits, not for the team's benefit. Patrick Dangerfield will be captain in the few years. Why? He's the only player out there showing true crows spirit. Guts and determination.

VB might not have the greatest foot skills, actually, I wouldn't put him in the top ten best players for the crows, so he needs to come through and show the same effort as Dangerfield. Put his body on the line.

Kevin Sheedy recently came out and said Nathan Van Berlo is the worst captain in the AFL in 2011 (source via adelaidenow) and I agree. Until he shows the crows fighting spirit that ex-captains like Mark Rucciuto or Mark Bickley, he needs to go.

But, I don't think he should have ever been there in the first place.

What do you think? Who do you think is the worst captain in the competition?

- tork

Songs to Inspire - Song 14

2011-05-08T09:13:00.003+09:30

Feeling unmotivated? Need inspiration? Need to be inspired?

Inspiration comes from within, you just sometimes need to be reminded - Torkona

Every Sunday I post a song to help you find your inspiration.

This song I found myself singing over the days when my son was due to be born. Creed's With Arms Wide Open.

It's all about being excited to find out being a parent. And by the way, happy Mother's day to all the mums out there!

Enjoy.

- tork

The first few days as dad

2011-05-06T19:36:00.001+09:30

The first few days as a father so far have been crazy.

Yee-oiks! Hehehehe

Awesome having your own mini-me around the place. And he's so so very small.

Man he's noisy though. Snores, eats too fast and breathes as if he's run a marathon, farts, burps, cries.

Love it.

Had a moment though where he was in deep sleep and bubs couldn't be woken no matter what we could do. Took a minute to raise him. He had been thrashing and restless for many hours though previous, so he was very tired. Still, was kinda scary not being able to wake him up. Something we'll keep an eye on. If it happens again, off to the quacks, but after being looked over he seems fine.

Overall, it is surreal. Still hasn't sunk in. At least we're getting plenty of sleep! Seriously, we are!

Getting a few more smiles out of him too. Looking forward to many more :-)

Can you remember you first few days as a parent? Any flash backs that you might want to share?

- tork

I've cracked the 10,000 barrier

2011-05-05T09:14:00.002+09:30

Just wanted to say a quick thanks to everyone.

Yesterday I cracked the 10,000 pageviews mark on this blog. Hurrah!

A pageview is whenever anyone or anything views a single page, so one person can technically visit 100 pages if they wanted.

Even though a lot of these views are more than likely my own (I estimate perhaps 5,000), I still wanted to thank a few sources.

Firstly, I want to thank you. You reading this right now. You're awesome, even if you're only here for ten seconds :-)

Next I want to thank anyone that has linked to my blog. I appreciate the time you've taken to do so greatly! Thanks for adding my badges to your site.

Next, I want to thank Melissa Doyle. Strange hey? Well, she retweeted my most popular post What Mummy Does for Work. It has just clicked over at 2,100 views, with over 100 Facebook shares and 55 tweets. Thanks Mel, even though having a famous Australian TV Host tweet your site doesn't bring you followers, it still made my day and still does.

Next I want to thank the site reddit.com. If used properly, I can get 200 hits in an hour. The site can be awesome, but I can be spammy on it.

Thanks to Google for about 15 folks a day hitting my page. I'd like to get a few more, but I appreciate the trickle!

Thank you to anyone that has hit Follow, Subscribe, has Facebook friended me or followed me on Twitter. I am having loads of fun and you guys make it worthwhile.

I would also like to thank the Academy. You like me, you really, really like me.

*ahem*

Enough thanks from me for now, until hopefully my next milestone..

Cheers!

- tork

Winner of the 2nd Torkona Award is..

2011-05-04T19:51:00.001+09:30

After reading numerous parent bloggers, the winner of the 2nd ever Torkona Award has been chosen.

This time, the award is to highlight blogger's first born birth stories.

Having recently become a parent myself, I found it a very appropriate theme.

You can read my own first born birth story: Finally, I am a dad. Leave me a comment if you think I should have won my own award :-)

The requirements of this blogger award to summarise were:

Your first born birth story with a total score of out 31 based on four different criteria.

a possible ten points for creativity
a possible ten points for how hilarious you are
a possible ten points for a heart warming story
one brownie point (for posting award image link)

And the winner is..

*insert drum roll here*

mum in search

~**Congratulations!!**~

She has fit every category of creativity, humour and heart warming story with her post Torkona wants to read my first born birth story. And yes, I did.

Visit her post and perhaps follow her blog. She's quite funny and a great blogger as well. Top marks go for having priorities of watching such quality TV programming like 'So You Think You Can Dance' instead of worrying too much about labour pains. Too bad you missed the end of the show! Great creativity with the photo collage, which was unique of all the entries.

Good idea going for the brownie point also, it got you over the line! Something I would recommend for future torky awards!

So well done mum in search. Here's is the other part of your prize, my second ever trophy.

Ten runners up are as follows, each with links to their birth stories for everyone to read.


A field of dreams	My if journey
Tara	Birth story bandwagon
Taryn	First born story
lifeasmummymax	Our 1st born Elaina
Tracy	Arrival of Cassidy
Crap Mamma	From birth plans to toilet plungers
Reservoir Dad	Enter the Torkona Award
parentwin	First story of my first borns
Kellie	Sienna Jade
Madmother	God of Obstetrics

Thank you to all that entered. I enjoyed finding a few new blogs as well as reading all your birth stories.

Don't forget to follow/subscribe for the next installment of The Torkona Award. It is getting bigger and bigger, so who knows what can be next!

- tork

finally, I am a Dad

2011-05-03T13:46:00.004+09:30

Finally I can say that my wife and I have become parents. I am the proud father of a bouncing baby....

Oop! Hold that thought. I really have only told you half the story in previous posts. So before telling you the gender, let me put my storytellers hat on and take you back to where we started.

Getting Pregnant

I've always wanted to be a dad. My wife has always wanted to be a mum. It was just when all that will happen that was stopping us.

We decided the time was right. We had done our trip overseas and are living in a house big enough to support a family. Money is good, support is good, everything was good. So it was time to make good, if you know what I mean (wink wink, nudge nudge say no more).

Our first pregnancy test came up negative. Nerts.

Next month, our second pregnancy test, zippo.

The following months our third, fourth, fifth pregnancy test etc, nothing.

We just could not get pregnant. Both being young, fit, nubile persons, we were starting to get concerned. Fast track to about 8 or so months of trying, we went to our local GP for tests, tips 'n tricks.

I was told to only wear boxer shorts, which I do (try not to imagine it). No bicycling, no cigarettes, no caffeine. Lots of no's. I don't do the first two, but me and caffeine are thick as thieves. I love it, it loves me. The withdrawals of my fizzy coke fix and caffeine were shocking, but I needed to do it. Man, I remember that being so very tough.

Anyway, we hopped on the happy sperm tablets and joyful lady pregnancy tablets for a few months to no avail. I made happy into a jar to get the wrigglies tested, which by the way were well above average levels I will have you know!

My wife was getting upset that it started to look like she wasn't functioning right and I was. Reading this you already know that we managed to eventually get pregnant, but here is the massive stroke of luck for us. We saw an Obstetrician that recommended a pill that women can take that makes periods more regular, as in, tell the egg to be in the right spot at the right time. This was to make sure we were trying on a day that was more likely to be successful.

Most couples get to this stage and it takes several tries, if at all. We were lucky and got pregnant our first try.

I remember sitting on the couch half asleep when my wife tells me that she is pregnant. I always imagined the time that she would tell me "I'm Pregnant" that I would run out the house, down the street, find a local park and run laps around it with giddy joy. When she finally told me, it was first disbelief. I felt relieved and exhausted at the same time, but also happy and shocked that we finally got there.

First Ultrasound

So onwards to the 9 weeks pregnant mark. We had our Obstetrician lined up and did an ultrasound scan.

"There's your baby!" the doctor said as we held each others hand tight. It was amazing to finally see what we'd be trying for so long.

Now, the doctor had some concerns though, there was no heart beat. The heart beat could not be found and we thought we had lost our baby. After over a year of trying and finally getting pregnant, we thought we lost him/her.

Our doctor told us that sometimes it takes longer for the heart to start working in the pregnancy. It can get going anytime between 7-10 weeks into the pregnancy. This kept our hopes up.

The doctor sent us to get ultrasound scans again at a different place with better equipment. This scan was a week after from the first, so you can imagine our tension, waiting a full week to know whether our baby's heart had started working yet or not.

We get to the ultrasound place and there on our screen is our beautiful little baby, heart beating away like a drum and very healthy.

Phew! What a relief.

Then the sonographer says "Ohh but it looks like this other little one hasn't made it."

A twin? We were having twins and we lost one?

I stand up and put my face in my hands with an 'oh my god!'. I hold back the tears for later and my wife looks at me with the same surprised face as I got.

We were given a few moments to soak in the news. We are told the child didn't make it past 7 weeks old.

It is so sad, but in a way we prefer to not have a twin pregnancy because it would be much harder pregnancy than a single child. At least thats what we told ourselves. So I am kind of grateful but sad at the same time. Forever though, we will wonder 'what if'. Our doctor did say that there is a 20% increase in chance that you will have a twin pregnancy when you take pills to make periods regular.

So rest peacefully our lost little child.

Low Amniotic Fluids

At around the 30 week mark, we have a check up with our Obstetrician. As I said in a previous post, Our baby is too small for the third trimester and Why baby is a bit small, our doctor poked and touched my wife's beautiful round tummy and said after about 5 seconds "You baby feels too small" and sent us to hospital.

We freaked out. My wife double freaked out. We were told to expect worse case scenario that our kid were to be born prematurely and on that night. So you can see why we were slightly worried.

We stayed about a week in hospital to find out that yes, baby's abdomen wasn't growing to it's full potential and that the amniotic fluid was at 3cm instead of the average 11-20cm.

My wife was pulled out of work early for rest, drank lots of fluids and she fantastically got the baby fluids up to a normal level, but the problems meant us having fortnightly scans/visits to doctors, just to make sure everything was going well.

Towards the last few days of the pregnancy however, wife's blood pressure was rising and baby's growth was starting to slow down.

It was time for induction. Thank god we were in the safe stages to give birth.

Induction! Time to be parents

The few days leading up towards our set date to be induced, well, for my wife to be induced, wasn't too bad. I had expected to be pacing up and down the hallways freaking out and wearing the carpet thin. Luckily I had enough gin stored in the pantry cupboard and fizzy drink in the fridge to combine the two together and keep my nerves down each night to not wreck the carpet. Also luckily enough that our hallway is all tiled to prevent such carpet damage. Anyway, our bags are packed and we are off to the hospital.

So the midwife does her thing to see how it is all going on down.. you know.. where it all goes on.

"You don't need to be induced. You're 2cm dilated and ready to have your waters broken!" says the midwife.

Awesome! We don't need to sit around for hours waiting for induction to work. We can simply burst the ol' waters and get this show on the road!

So we did.

When they say you are low on amniotic fluid, they are wrong. You could have almost frozen the room and played ice hockey on the floor after they broke my wife's waters.

Anyway, not long until the contractions started. I eventually become a pro on how to read a CTG machine. I held her hand every single time she had a contraction. Even though I couldn't do much, I just wanted to hold her to know I was there. I also wanted to take my rings off just in case she pulverised my fingers together in agony.

She was great though. She was having what we thought was a perfect labor. She lasted no drugs at all until the last 30 minutes when we were told we were having issues that baby was struggling and we needed to get it out.

Caesarean section

It hit us both like a freak wave. We required an emergency Cesarean section. It sent my wife into a panic. I was flustering around the room trying to hide valuables whilst grabbing a camera for the surgery room and getting changed into scrubs. A brief thought popped into my head about whether anyone from the show Scrubs would be involved. Strange. Even at my most worried my brain would still try to make a joke.

But I digress. J.D. and Turk were nowhere to be seen and I had to be there for my wife and child, trying to encourage the wife that everything was going to be fine. I knew it was going to be fine for some reason. I had no worries in the world. I was excited to be in the surgery room and to be there for my wife. I usually am terrible with medical shows. Watching procedures on the telly makes me faint or feel queasy, even just talking about them does, but I had this overriding sense or strength to be there and to grab my wife's hand as we were wheeled in for a c-section.

They gave me a stool to sit on at the head of the bed. I was there for my wife, whom I am so very proud of for going through what she was not expecting.

Perhaps what was about 40 minutes into the cesarean came a scream into the room. It wasn't my wife, it wasn't any of the doctors or staff. It wasn't me either.

It was a scream from our baby. It's first cry into the world.

The curtain was brought down for us to see our firstborn for the first time.

We finally saw our little man, so beautiful and perfect.

Yep, it's a boy!!!

His eyes wide open, outstretched arms. Not too upset until he was poked and prodded by the doctors, but soon enough he was wrapped up and in my wife's arms. All he could do is silently look at us with his big blue eyes and try to figure out what the heck is going on.

All we could do is look back at him and cry out our faces.

So there you have it. Baby is going great. Wife had a few more complication post labour, which I may go through one day, but she is doing great now too.

We our proud parents to a tiny little boy who is the spitting image of his father.

And I can finally tell the world what my wife and I have known since early scans that he is a boy!

I've never been happier in my life.

I can never repay my wife for what she has gone through and what she has done for us, but I promise to try every day. I am so proud of her.

And to the new young fella of ours, you've got a lot to look forward to. I know you'll make us proud.

So I hope I've given you an interesting perspective of a childbirth story from the fathers perspective. Hopefully it will give people courage too if they are having any concerns during pregnancy, that in the end it is just a small blip on the radar of your life where all worries are washed away when you hold your little one in your arms.

Thanks for reading.

- tork

The Torkona Award II - Closed

2011-05-02T14:10:00.000+09:30

Entries for the Torkona Award II Your First Born Birth Story is now closed.

All entries have been reviewed and a winner will be announced soon.

Winner announced as soon as I possibly can, as I currently have other important matter to attend to.

Hmm, whatever could they be? :-)

- tork

The Torkona Award II - Extension

2011-04-18T19:19:00.002+09:30

Okay, rush rush.. let me type away as fast as I can!

Due to unforseen circumstances (ie. baby, which actually is totally forseen) I am EXTENDING the deadline for The Torkona Award II, Your First Born Birth Story.

New deadline to submit your entry is now prior to 1st of May 2011.

Just so much easier for me to extend the deadline at this point in time.

I've already received some great entries, but there is still a chance for others to have a crack.

Hope you use this extension wisely and submit your post for this blog award.

The Torkona Award II, Your First Born Birth Story.

Good luck!

Now, I'm off to get some serious sleep before our firstborn arrives!!! :-) EEEEK!!

- tork

Tork's blog badges

2011-04-18T09:47:00.001+09:30

Want to flog my blog? Awesome! Here are my badges that you can add to your blog.

I've been working hard on making them myself. I hope you like them, they took me ages!

If you like them, I am thinking about offering my services to make ones similar for your own blog or site. I wouldn't start this just yet, I am currently taking expressions of interest to do this for people.

If you would ever consider paying a small fee I'd love to know. Drop me a comment and I might consider it in the future. Anything that helps pay for my firstborn little baby ;-)

- tork

Songs to Inspire - Song 13

2011-04-17T14:29:00.001+09:30

Feeling unmotivated? Need inspiration? Need to be inspired?

Inspiration comes from within, you just sometimes need to be reminded - Torkona

Every Sunday I post a song to help you find your inspiration.

Humans are amazing creatures. We can do anything if we put our minds to it. Every now and then a freak comes along that does something new that blows your mind. "How is it even possible?" you might ask. "Is it real?"

Yep. The following singer entered into a female singing competition and came second. Crazy..

I hope it inspires your spine to tingle a little bit :-)

http://youtu.be/9wceKiDBjFM

- tork

Dear NAB

2011-04-15T11:13:00.001+09:30

Dear NAB,

Thank you for not processing my payment today, that was lovely of you.

I don't often enjoy receiving my salary. Having my bank balance go up is gross, blergh!

Thanks for letting me know also that you are more than likely going to process my wages in five days time instead.

This will also work for me being unable to try and move any of this money into my other accounts to decrease interest that I pay to you guys, due to you also telling us that you wont be able to process any money tansfers for a whole week because of Easter.

This is great, I love paying more interest than I am usually required to.

Oh, and perfect timing by not processing payments, just like that time in December last year where you also decided not to pay anyone. My firstborn baby is due any day now and I would rather have no money at all than to feed and clothe it or pay for all the medical bills.

I am sure the $5 I have made from GoogleAds on my blog will at least see me through the next few weeks.

By now NAB, you can see that I am being sarcastic.

Get ready for one angry dude on your doorsteps demanding compensation. I will also be asking for compensation for the purchase of one jar of Vaseline. I'm not sure how much it costs just yet but I will bring the receipt.

Why compensation for Vaseline?

Well, you will thank me for the purchase as after I print this letter I shall be rolling it very tightly and inserting it fair and square up your backside, you worthless, unorgainsed, soon to be ex-bank.

Yours Sincerley

- tork

ps. go f**k yourself

Counting down the days to fatherhood

2011-04-11T22:03:00.001+09:30

The time is so very close to becoming parents for the first time for us.

We are so anxious, but can hardly wait.

Be aware that my posts will become brief and rare.

If I go silent for long enough, it might be safe to assume I'm a gloating daddy and too busy for a silly blog! :-)

I hope for nothing more than a healthy bundle of joy.

I hope for nothing more than an easy birth for my wife.

I hope for everything to be perfect.

To catch up on everything so far, here's my baby posts in order:

Songs to Inspire - Song 12

2011-04-10T10:48:00.001+09:30

Feeling unmotivated? Need inspiration? Need to be inspired?

Inspiration comes from within, you just sometimes need to be reminded - Torkona

Every Sunday I post a song to help you find your inspiration.

Today, I want you to dance.

I spend about five minutes each day with an impromtu dance in my house. Either I have a tune in my head, or a song is on the telly.

Or, I am on YouTube listening to songs like this.

Fat boy slim - Weapon of Choice.

I hope it inspires you to dance like nobody is watching, wherever you may be.

- tork

Tork's blog

Holy Crap I'm Turning 30!

Bad Blogger Step 4: Life's Rambles

4. Use long paragraphs

Congratulate me, I'm a new Mum!

Bad Blogger Step 3: I'm Blogging Drunk. Weeeoo!

Step 3. Write drunk

Bad Blogger Step 2: Here is a picture of my doodle on the table

Step 2. Don’t spend more than 30 seconds working on your headline

Why I Didn't Spend Time on my Headline and How You Can Too

Bad Blogger Step 1: Story about goats

Step 1. Do no research whatsoever before writing a post

Time to put my blogging to the test

A Blog Goal for 2012

Celebrity Beard Stubble

Famous Celebrity People Beard Stubble

Actor Beards

Musician Beards

Scientology Beards

Happy Australia Day 2012!

Did you win the STIHL Giveaway?

Did you win the Viva TV and Computer Screen Wipes Giveaway?

STIHL Giveaway - My Dream Aussie Backyard when Growing Up *GIVEAWAY ENDED*

This Was My Backyard Life

Every House Needs a Backyard if there are Kids

This is My Backyard Competition and Giveaway

Viva TV and Computer Screen Wipes Review *GIVEAWAY ENDED*

Viva TV and Computer Screen Wipes

Viva Screen Wipes Review Verdict & Giveaway

SnoozeShade Review for Infant Car Seats

The SnoozeShade for Infant Car Seats

The Blackout Blind

SnoozeShade Review Verdict

Overhead the Cot of a Son

Stopping to Say Thanks

Update on My Boy's Health

So, Sleepless in Seattle is on tonight..

The Kardashian's Visit Me Daily

Everyday He's Shuffling! The Boy Crawls..

An Australian Dad Blog - My Latest Video

Christmas is over..

Guest Post from Santa Claus

Merry Xmas - I Love Your Guts - Happy Holidays!

All I Want For Christmas Is Sleep

How Do Parents Celebrate New Years?

Plants vs Zombies - Last Minute Gift Idea for Dad or Kids

Plants Vs Zombies

Dear SAHMs, send picture messages to dads!

What Dads Don't Want To Hear

My husband has got Man Flu

Going a bit grey there honey

Omigod, I can't believe you just did that in front of me

Why Don't You Like Dad Blogs But Love Mum Blogs?

1. Dad blogs don't get approached for product reviews.

2. Dad blogs don't get anywhere near as many comments as a mum blog.

3. Dad blogs will never be as popular as mum blogs.

Why am I whinging like a baby?

My Greatest Post, In My First Year of Blogging

Celebrating the Songs of my First Year

My First Ever Blog Post

Celebrating My First Year of Blogging

If Shakespeare Was Australian

15 Gift Ideas For Dad This Xmas

1. Golf Clubs

2. Expensive Alcohol

3. Hardware Store Voucher

4. Condiments

5. Stupid Hats

6. Novelty T-Shirts

7. Poker Set

8. Board Game

9. Fart Putty

10. Sock and Jocks

11. Domain Hosting

12. Photograph on Canvas

13. Something Homemade

14. Coffee

15. Solar Powered Water Fountain

Here We Go Again

Our Baby's Health: The Story Continues

STIHL Giveaway - My Dream Aussie Backyard when Growing Up GIVEAWAY ENDED

Viva TV and Computer Screen Wipes Review GIVEAWAY ENDED