Friday, April 15, 2011

Dear NAB

Dear NAB,

Thank you for not processing my payment today, that was lovely of you.

I don't often enjoy receiving my salary.  Having my bank balance go up is gross, blergh!

Thanks for letting me know also that you are more than likely going to process my wages in five days time instead.

This will also work for me being unable to try and move any of this money into my other accounts to decrease interest that I pay to you guys, due to you also telling us that you wont be able to process any money tansfers for a whole week because of Easter.

This is great, I love paying more interest than I am usually required to.

Oh, and perfect timing by not processing payments, just like that time in December last year where you also decided not to pay anyone.  My firstborn baby is due any day now and I would rather have no money at all than to feed and clothe it or pay for all the medical bills.

I am sure the $5 I have made from GoogleAds on my blog will at least see me through the next few weeks.

By now NAB, you can see that I am being sarcastic.

Get ready for one angry dude on your doorsteps demanding compensation.  I will also be asking for compensation for the purchase of one jar of Vaseline.  I'm not sure how much it costs just yet but I will bring the receipt.

Why compensation for Vaseline?

Well, you will thank me for the purchase as after I print this letter I shall be rolling it very tightly and inserting it fair and square up your backside, you worthless, unorgainsed, soon to be ex-bank.

Yours Sincerley

- tork

ps. go f**k yourself