A Glimpse into My Father's Day

There was a time where I was wondering if I ever was going to be a dad.

When I was younger and single, I wondered if it would ever be.  When we were trying for a year to actually fall pregnant, I wondered if it would ever be.

Now that I am a Dad, there is nothing greater in this world.

Sure, some days are a struggle.  Just like the days when my son stopped breathing, or the day I was told that he might never be able to speak.  Those days stick out as the worst days ever.

Other days when he's screaming down the hallway, wanting to do something troublesome and not getting his way.  They drive you mental.

Or my son's obsession with doors.  God, drives us batty!

Days like Father's day are special though.  When you get a bit of recognition from friends and family.

I don't treat it different to any other day though.  I don't demand to do what I want to do, or get something special out of a hardware catalogue.

All I want for Father's day is be with my kid.  That's all, nothing else.  I don't want presents, I don't want quiet time.  Fire up the BBQ and let's do some together stuff and share the bond between Father and child.

The planning of cheeky deeds, such as throwing things at mummy whilst she plays stupid moblie phone apps.

*BWWOOFF!* take this Spiderman ball in the face Mummy!  Ah ha!

That's all I ever want, father-son time, because I am very lucky to just have my son and I appreciate it every single day.

Today, I cooked bacon & eggs for our breakfast. Had photos taken in stupid matching clothes.

Went to the playground and played until both our legs could take no more.  Got home and watched the footy.

Fed him his dinner and set him down in his bed.

What a great day!

Tomorrow will be no different though, just in limited time due to work.

So there you have it.  A glimpse of my Father's day and the future ones to come.

Happy Father's day to all.  May you enjoy your night by celebrating in the glorious night cap of adding chocolate to milk.

Cheers.

- tork

My Eyes Will Weep, My Heart Will Smile

Dad Poem - from the words of a Father

A cold word is said from a hospital bed,
Your child is ill with disease.
A fear knocks you down, but you stand in feet cement,
Of a life that is supposed to be an ease.

A few years have passed when your child should not be,
The unwell is not a thought in your mind.
But a cough turns to wheeze in life's high air trapeze,
All the years that have passed you can't find.

And when Grim comes to take, a choice you can't shake,
And your eyes run rivers and streams.
When eyes shut like dams, in your heart you can see,
All your child's hopes and dreams.

These dreams will live on, in friend's hearts ever long,
But there is nothing that you can say.
For when a child is lost, not much you can do,
Than promise to remember each day.

Torkona

Dad and Son Things I Love

I'm having a ball being a dad.

My son turned one a while back and every day is just something new.

He gets bigger and bigger, trys out new babble words day by day.

One day I was walking out the room and instead of him just random talking, he said "Dad?".  As if, "Where are you going Dad and why aren't you sitting here and playing with me?!".  I can remember too, I said his name when he was first starting to speak.  He replied "What!"

It still freaks me out to this day..


But I love being a dad.

Now that it's winter, the poor chap gets a bit chilly at night.  Sometimes he has a cry if he gets out of his blanket...

BAM! *it's daddy time*

Down I go to pick him up for a cuddle.  The only thing that lights up the room is a night light on the baby monitor.  It's so dark, all I can make out is a baby boy that has stopped crying in my arms, looking back at me with the biggest grin on his face ever.

Ahhh, Dad is here to make me feel better :-)

That night time smile is just a different view of my son.  A massive smile seen in a different way.  I love it. All I can see is his massive eyes and massive grin.

Any smile I get makes me as happy as a pig in mud on a mud planet.

Some parents might complain when baby cries during the night, but I love it.  Well, you know what I mean.  Not the crying, but the reassurance hugs from his dad. Even though I might zombie walk down my corridor to my boy's cot, half asleep and tripping over toys, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Just a little dad joy that I thought I might share with you.

- tork

Dad and Son Poem - Shadow Games

Bear with me.. because I'm in the mood for writing some poetry :-)

Shadow Games

It was there as any other night, with son clasping upon his shoulder,
Dark figures against the wall catches eye of young and older.
Yet these figures of darkness are not as bleak as it could maybe seem.
They catch the eye of dad and son, a new game they haven't seen.

The light is dim above the earth, but bulb sure lights things bright.
And with this bulb does each one see their shadows of the night.
A snigger from the son, a grin bore from the dad.
A game not seen is this house of shadow puppets with the lad.

But bedtime nears when day turns night and sleepiness rears it's head.
But fighting sleep is what is done when playing with your dad.
A wave at your shadow on a wall, not knowing what it is,
A great new game for dad and son, in age they'd surely miss.

Now time to rest as Autumn breeze sweeps coolly through the night.
All snug and tucked up warm in bed for son to sleep tonight.
As dad reminds himself this night how lucky that he is.
With photographs of memories of dad and son... of an age he'll surely miss.

- tork

Everyday He's Shuffling! The Boy Crawls..

Yep.  My little boy has been rolling for a long while now.  He's sort of only ever crawled forward on beds/mattresses, found it more easier.

He then worked his way up to going forwards on his back and backwards on his front.  Ooch, that confused me..

Now he really has his shit sorted out.  He does the army man crawl, where he's a soldier that has his legs blown off and has to crawl with his arms.  Terrible description, but that's exactly how he does it.

It's been about a week of crawling.  It was cute the first few days, but now we're already over it!

:-)

Hehehehe!

Here's a wee little sketch I drew to signify the moment.

Got any tips or advice to help us to stop going crazy during this *ahem* FUN new skill this little tacker has learnt?

Love to hear from you!

- tork

Guest Post from Santa Claus

Ho Ho Ho...  Merry Christmas everyone!

Every christmas is a magical night for me. I love bringing joy to children of all ages all around the world.

I've been checking my list twice to see who's been naughty or nice.  And that's why I am guest posting at Tork's blog.

I see a new addition to my list.  Looks like Tork has had a baby boy and it's going to be his first Christmas!

Ooh.. how exciting! He's on the nice list, such a good boy.

Tork on the other hand, he's on the naughty list...

Tsk tsk tsk, such a naughty young man.

You can't fool Santa you know Tork!  I've seen all the tricks over the years.

Just because you're a big boy now and you're allowed to stay up all night, doesn't mean you can do it tonight to try and spot me!

Ho Ho!  You're not naughty Tork, just a cheeky boy in grown-up's clothes.  Go to sleep early tonight and wake up to your son's first Christmas.  That's the best present that Santa can give you.


I'm must be away now, for I have lots of work to do.  So, merry Christmas to all!

And have a good nights sleep Tork!

- Santa

My Son Needs Oxygen Every Day. Or Does He?

My son needs oxygen everyday.  This is what my wife and I were dealing with a few months ago when my boy would stop breathing or make a very loud bird like noise called striding.

His striding would keep us up at night. Well, it kept my wfe up at least. I sleep through anything!

But this has slowly started to get better.  Through oxygen oximetry tests, his oxygen rates that we were providing have gone down dramatically. He sleeps right through the night and so quietly now that you sometimes wonder if he's still there.

We were also told he has vocal cord palsy on both his vocal cords.  A symptom that leaves people unable to speak or with a husky voice. This is a symptom that appears mainly when there is trauma to the cord during pregnancy or birth.  He did have the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck (poor little guy) but this is common and is not yet a proven cause of the symptom. We had scans on his brain to see why he would have this condition, but that came back as normal.

So, he just had it. He had vocal cord palsy. Couldn't say yes definitely, but the doctors did anyway.

As my lovely return readers will know, he hasn't shut up for months.  Every morning me and him have a chat before I go to work.  We've since come to realise that he was simply inflamed during his camera down the throat procedure, but the hospital was too rushed for time with a back log of patient procedures.  So they came to a conclusion quickly to save time that it wasn't inflamation but the palsy.

They sent him back to his room too fast and due to his inflammation, his breathing was constricted and he almost stopped for good.  That was our scariest day, where we almost lost him.

But, thats all a nasty memory.  A time we'll look back on to see how lucky we are to have our little boy.

But this post isn't about a whinge fest.  It's about something more important.

I am happy to say that after all these months..

HE'S FINALLY OFF HIS OXYGEN!!

And aren't we two happy parents!  We finally have our son back.  His face is no longer covered by plastic tubing specs. We no longer will trip over annoying cords or worry about snagging him or hurting his neck when the cord gets stuck.

He's been a trooper through it all though.  Hardly cries with it on his face.  Loved playing with it, loved sticking it in his mouth.  He's been a really good boy and never stops smiling or laughing.  I don't think it ever really bothered him..

The worst time I've ever had was being in the children's hospital around sick babies with tubes down their throats or with heart conditions.

It's terrible, but eventually it will be ok.

If you know a parent going through a similar time in their life, let them know you're there for them and it will be ok too.


So, my little lion cub is off his oxygen.  We love it.  But FYI, he still has it on during the night, only on the extreme lowest setting.  That doesn't annoy us or him though.  He sleeps, we put it on his face.  He wakes in the morning, we take it off.  It's like it was never there.

Look out world, here comes my boy!

- tork

Father and Son

Photo © Andrey Kiselev | Dreamstime.com

Tonight, I had a moment that most parents might take for granted.


I held my baby boy over my shoulder and caught a glimpse of our reflection in my sliding door window.


Why is this so special to me?  Well, I hardly get to see that sort of thing.  My little lion cub is hooked up to oxygen tanks due to his difficulty in breathing, so he rarely gets moved around the house further than his oxygen tank or bedroom.


Yeah it's a bit weird, but I never can pick him up and put him in front of a mirror and just look at the both of us.


Anyway, I also am away from home working, like many dad's are, and I miss out on little moments like these.  Whenever I come home, the little champ is sleepy from a big day of games.


But whilst his oxygen was disconnected to be replaced with new specs, looking at our reflection I realised something I've known for a long time now.


I am a dad.  He is my son.


..and I am lucky.


Hopefully soon, as we've been told we might only have to keep him on oxygen at nights, we'll get to walk him around our whole home much easier.


And little moments that sometimes get taken for granted I might take for granted one day too.


I need more photos taken with me and my son. I want to look at them and smile at how much we look alike.


So don't take the little things for granted with your kids.  And to the stay at home mums, remember how lucky you are to spend at home with your kids, no matter how hard it sometimes can get.


- tork