Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Eat the Cake!
At a certain point in your life you realise that you get older (you may have read about this).
There's the old people that love life, holidaying around the country, pointing at cathedrals and large flying birds whilst going "Oooh!". There's also the old people that are unhappy, swearing at parents with loud children or yelling at clouds.
That’s not the way you should age. You should be as alive as you can until you’re totally dead.
This is of course dangerous. You should take advice from others when doing things and not be gung-ho about it. You have to be sensible. You don’t want your last words to be “Hey is this off?” or “Hey everybody, watch this!”.
You change, your body changes. Things become a tender box down there. It definitely won’t be the world’s best thing to be found charred & handcuffed to your other half at the age of 83. I don’t want to use the word lube, but I think I just did.
The world is confusing, there’s no doubt about it. You've got to be on good terms with pleasure and make the beast inside you happy.
Beast? What beast? If you don't know about it, you ignore it at your own peril!
The beast inside you only has one request from you…
MORE!! MORE YUMMY STUFF, less bad stuff, MORE YUMMY YUMMY!!
This is what we deal with every day of our lives. The constant fighting of the boo-hoo with the yummy yummy, the bad and the good.
You just got to know what the good stuff is and what the bad stuff is.
The good stuff is everything that you're not allowed to do. Like cake.
Cake is great. Eat cake.
Seriously, whoever invented cake was a god damn f*cking genius.
Why ignore Cake! Especially around Christmas, birthdays etc.. Cake makes you happy. Do more stuff that you reckon is the good stuff!
The bad stuff is things like, you know.. erghh.. F*CKING MORNINGS.. I hate mornings, why dammit, why!
"Rush rush, we're going to be late", stuff that. What's going to happen if you're late? You can rock up late wearing a Tutu that smells like fish, the same shit is going to be there..
Whatever you do, remember more yummy yummy.
If anyone ever offers you a cake, you eat that massive slice of spongey, creamy goodness and you are going to love every god dam minute of it!
Ohh my god yes..
- tork
Labels:
help and guides
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Great Deal Christmas Gift Ideas from Target
Target recently offered me to be one of their Brand Ambassadors. It took me seconds to say yes. Sometimes you need man advice for shopping too!
Sometimes you also need insight to what a guy is buying you for Xmas ;-)
Here are a bunch of examples of great gifts that you can buy your friends and family this Christmas at Target. They are all my own choices and suggestions!
ooooh!! Look at them all!
You're going to have to excuse my crappy photo taking skills..
Christmas Hampers
The staple gift when you have no idea what to buy someone. I would stick to buying them for folks aged 35 and over only.
Target have lots of varieties of Hampers. I grabbed a couple of the cheaper ones to combine it with a bottle of goon from the local publican, just to add that extra touch.
Target's Small Christmas Hamper - $16
Watch
Target has a variety of different watches to choose from, but I recommend choosing a men's watch as a present. They're a simple, yet useful present to bang around in for any lad.Got a boy that always forget's what the time is? Give him a watch! No excuses for being home late and more reason to dock his pocket money and use on your Dr Pepper addiction..
Men's Gift Watch - $20
Nail Polish
Chicks like Nail Polish don't they? I don't get it, but I found a set of 6 different colours, Nail Polish Remover and Nail Polish clear-make-look-shiny stuff.
I know this one girl who's always got a different nail colour going on, I'm sure she'll like this. If you know someone the same, then Nail Polish might be a good idea as well!
Chi Chi Vive La French Manicure Set - $19.95
Hot Sauce
Ok, who has a Husband or a Dad that likes their meat with hot sauce? I know I do..
..don't be dirty and take that the wrong way people! I'm talking about cliché sauces that any guy (or gal for that matter) would be happy to add to their steak or burger to spice up their life!
These sauces I picked up are so corny. "Ass Kickin' Roasted Garlic Hot Sauce". Mmmm interesting!
"Hot Sauce from Hell". Mmmm devilish..
"Ass Kickin' Cajun Hot Sauce". Hee hee hee, there is a Donkey kicking on it. ASS-kicking. Dad jokes and spicy sauce all in one. Cheap too!
Hot Sauce 3-Pack set - $12
Milkshake Maker
This would have to be my favourite of all the presents. A Milkshake Maker. I can taste a banana milkshake right now!
Its cooky colours might stand out in the kitchen, but I like it. Who wouldn't, it makes Milkshakes god dammit! And a cheap buy as well.
Milkshake Maker - $15
Go check out Target this Xmas folks. Great bargains and a bunch of gifts for family and friends!
- tork
Labels:
gifts
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)







