Wednesday, December 14, 2011

What Dads Don't Want To Hear

Let's see how much shit this is going to get me in with the wife/mums, but here are a few things Dads or Husbands or Partners (whatever you want to call us) hate to hear from their other half...

My husband has got Man Flu

Every time I get sick, it's always the man flu.  Apparently all us dads over-react when we are sick and that women never whinge when they are sick.

Pfft.. balls to that! Gals say the same thing as guys when sick.  It's just not noticed as much cos fella's aren't as often crook.

Don't get me wrong, I always lend a hand when the wife is sick, I just don't like that saying wives have!

So, to the guys.  I say, if women are always going to use the phrase "It's just man flu", then men are allowed to say "It's just her period"...

..and there go all my women followers.

Going a bit grey there honey

Grey hairs?  Nope.. We're holding on to our wasted youth and pretending we didn't hear that.  The grey hair is probably just caused by the bright light in the room, causing a reflection and catching dust particles that are there-in causing the hair to appear a grey colour.  If the wife says I've got a grey hair and we're in a dark room, I still hold onto my youth and respond with:

"Nahh it's not mine.  Must've got stuck there whilst I was snogging your granny"

Makes her stop pointing out the greys quick smart!

Omigod, I can't believe you just did that in front of me

Whether it is breaking wind or dropping trousers for laughs, it's my house too, and it's happening.

This should be taken as a massive show of love towards our partner, that we are that comfortable with them, that there are no barriers.  Nope.  Apparently it's disgusting.

Around a group of guys, the love is there.  A fart is greeted with "Someone farted in here! You got me man!  It went into my mouth.." And a moon or a fruit basket is pointed and laughed at for at least the duration of three seconds.

Don't make us hold our farts in wives. Love us! Like we love you!


What is your most favourite/annoying wife quote?

- tork