Thursday, May 19, 2011

How to gain useless traffic to your blog

Do you like traffic?  Do you watch your blog stats hourly?

Well, have I got the deal for you!

You can get traffic to your blog FREE OF CHARGE!!

 How?  It's easy.  It's called Useless Traffic.

That's right, useless traffic.  Hoards and hoards of single clicks to your website that never get you any followers, don't stay for longer than a second and don't click your ads.  Useless traffic, free of charge.

How do you get useless traffic?  Well, I'm glad you asked..

Post your URL in irrelevant places

Have you got a great link you want people to see about puppies?  Well, why not add the URL to a popular forum?  Perhaps a gaming website with the heading "Get a load of these puppies!".  Yep, the gaming nerds would click on that faster than the speed of light!

Don't worry about posting your link on a relevant site about dogs or animals. Mislead people to get that useless traffic you deserve!

Aim for Google Image Search Results

Put only pictures on your blog posts.  Also, name the picture file.  So if it is a picture of those little dogs of yours, call it 'my_big_puppies.jpg' and watch the streams from Google Images come through and only look at your photo, not at your site.

This will give you loads of useless traffic for free!

So there you have it folks!  Two methods for getting visitors to your site that are completely useless!

Thank you for not shopping with us!

- tork

fyi - this is intended as a joke and a message to help stop you getting useless traffic.  This sentence is only here for the people google searching "my big puppies".  ;-) Thank you for your time